Tuesday, February 14, 2006
i like to sit and daydream. (:
A V-day without a V...well everything's still the same rite...all singles: CHEER FOR YOUR FREEDOM. LOVE NOBODY ELSE BUT URSELF!!! (bleah)
streets of ppl carrying bouquets of flowers, bears or big bags of dunno wat stuff...well we suspect a couple buy these for themselves to show others tat they recieve flowers/gifts too..haha...maybe it's true my dears..or it could be from "her" ..to the other her...hmmmmmm..heee
ling-mei baked us browniessss..weee although i havent eaten..and she also thinks it look disgusting as it is crushed and melted from the heat...i'll still try it tonite after dinner k..i'll share ur brownie with my family and tell them u did it urself hahaha...
going to start off with a story tat i heard from a relative..it's real..and was on the papers bout 2-3yrs back:
he was a smart, hardworking lad. creative, a very gd art student. i tink he just graduated with a degree(so u can see how young he is) one day, he was hospitalised and found out tat he was with some cancer...he was sad..but he put a strong front, asking ppl to take care and accompany his mum as she was travelling down to the hospital everyday to take care of him.
his grandma wasnt feeling well, so his mum brought her to see the doc. so his dad picked him up from the hospital to bring him hm. his dad walked infront of him. they were climbing the stairs to the home.
he held on to the railing of a certain floor(quite high level), climbed over the wall. his dad was shocked and tried to ask him down. his dad held him on the wrist/hand and told him to get down. he said,"i'm really sorry dad. please let me go. i'm sorry..." he let go of his dad hand, his dad did not haf the strength to grip him...he fell..in the midst, he hit a tree branch and den landed on the ground floor. he wasnt shattered. onli his stomach burst(if i'm not wrong)and had a cracked skull..the rest was intact. he died.
his dad saw him die. right infront of him. he was holding his hand...he did not haf the strength to help him. his son just died infront of him. splatter.
a lad who has a bright future to fight for...lost the battle to a illness. left his parents alone....the onli son...the son who didnt come just as easy. his mom gone thru many things to have this child. her onli child. she watched him grow, den let him go. izzit unfair???
his work/artpieces are displayed at some exhibition hall because of his great work.sorry to start my entry with such a unfortunate story. it's a true story. but well...we do experience some difficulties tat seem difficult to overcome. i know tat u can onli experience
THE REAL THING when the crisis hits u...but after hearing this story i've thot bout some issues tat am facing recently.
if life's so fragile...why keep wanting to end ur own life when god doesnt want u to yet(ok this may sound holy but...well it's right isnt it?)you noe who i'm talking about. you always used the thot when u're faced with difficulties..but u're not the onli 1. i noe i've helped u..but it's not always tat i can take it when somebody suddenly drop me a sms saying tat it could be the end of his/her life today...and i'll not be seeing or hearing from him/her tml...noe wat i mean??? when u slapped me with those words and msgs...and put the "DUTY" on me...i didnt noe wat to do coz i cant approach both parties...one didnt wanna be talked to...the other didnt wan anymore talking...1hr, 1/2hr, 15min, 10min....noe the counting down was killing me..tat's why i got fed-up and went to dreamland instead..i almost cried becoz i could feel the pressure taking on to me...like it's my responsibility to pass the msg on...wat if one party really just went on...blame it on me???
i cant carry this responsibility noe. i'm sorry...am really sorry...but i'm really tired of it and cant take it when this happens...i dun wanna hear tat this person is ending her life at 1 moment den another telling me tat she's out from the hospital..it's like sinking and den lifting my heart again...you noe tat not just those few words or action can make thing become "brand new"...both haf tried..if cant..den move on...go on with life...coz tat's not everything you're living for..seriously....go calm urself down and den reflect on ur actions..ur doings..wat i can do i've already done and said enough..the rest is up to you...ur own inner strength...
dun tell me u're tired...who's not........either externally or internally. BRACE UP.rite rite..after such a sad opening....hmmm...let's talk bout happy stuff...
well well...is there any happy stuff at the moment....sat went to cuzzie's hse to do proj lo...well at least it's like 90% done..so quick quick...let it be COMPLETED and be cancelled from my "TO DO LIST"...den...play at their place..yes..played...monopoly...haha...den sun hmmm...went to p.grandma's place...eat eat eat...den stone...den watched C.A. vid...he's the best man..he's so so amazing...oh oh...going to talk bout some sad stuff again....well mixed feelings la..sad and happy..
monday(which was yday) was
my last session for my practicum for yr 2!!! booo booo boooo...crys....i'll miss my kids...so so didnt wanna leave the class yday...after taking photos with my children...the teacher told them tat it's our last day here...and they were like "
bye ms shereen...by ms natasha...bye bye"....cry cry cry...i hate it man...well i didnt tear but well my heard felt it..haha haha..soppy hor...
i'll miss the way jamie scream when she sees me, "hi ms shereen!!!" den she'll hug my thigh tight tight...the way gabriel will look and me and smile, "ms shereen can u remember my name?"(haha he always ask me tat)...the way elizabeth will have tat wide wide smile across her face...the way Darin will haf tat cute "huh" look on the face(he wore orange specs yday but didnt wanna let me take his pic sob)and the way Nikita will ask me during lessons tat i'm teaching them, "why are u teaching us this"(she asked me yday why i'm not conducting lesson with them...shows tat she miss my lesson wahhahaa....bleah)but well...on the happy note...it's end of yr 2 for FP and proceeding to yr3 where we gotta spend 3 full day at our next CC. hmmm...i love it here..........but gotta go..move on tat is...*bish*
many of my frens are graduating soon..many did their last presentation either last wk or this wk..den will get their cert in april or june i tink...humph..i'm in the same yr and well i'm in yr2 still...they'll all leave(hopefully coz i dun wanna see 'mad hanging ard in sch AGAIN haha...coz this tall guy has retain a yr already)i dunno if i'll still be in contact with them...coz guys will hafta go NS..den girls..i dunnoo...futhur or work...we're already becoming apart..but will wish them well..while i still haf another yr to go...
jia you to all!!! all the best!!! love u guys still..will not forget anyone...muack.hmmm...today's entry kinda sad huh...sorry la...but these are wat i'm going thru in life these few days..and wat's going thru my brain...
a couple more proj to be completed.
take care all!!! jia you!!!
cherish.
-4 more days to end of sch term-love.
4:02 PM
