Tuesday, March 27, 2007
i like to sit and daydream. (:
since i've got nth to do. nth to fill me up. i shall juz blog.
many things churning round and round. some ppl might be laughin at me. who cares.
firstly, was out with pal juz now. to pass him back this keys. he's back from msia open. well. well done pal. ur 1st overseas tournament with the team. u did good. *clap clap* and well. kept complaining to him tat i'm so bored at hm. and all he say was "go bowl la!" haha. well. i did haf tat tot of starting to bowl again since the hols started. but i dunno. somehow i feel kinda lonely acutally. shall see to it. and he was telling mi about his allowance and all. a game costing 50bucks. and he juz bought it like tat. and 1 sentence he said hit me. he say tat he feel gd. coz he's doing wat he love and enjoy and actually get paid for it. he's happy.
aint tat suppose to be it? perfect. doing smthing u like and get paid for it. wat can i do to get tat? i dun even noe wat i wan. sometimes really feel useless. no confident.
secondly, studies again. my future. din noe wat i've been seeing was all wrong until yday. i really wonder if my applications for those i've applied will be successful. i doubt it will be. juz hoping Wheelock de will get thru. my grades aint tat bad. GPA's the prob. hate it. feel lousy when mum made the remark yday. tinking it thru. it's quite true.
i dun haf to go thru all these trouble if my results were gd. if it was gd, all i gotta do now was to wait and choose. but now. wat i HAD to do is not to wait. but choose and
GRAB. it's almost a sign of desperation. i feel. if i were to land up and decide to go with the exp. course. it's so exp. tat i'm actually feeling stress already. mummy say bout study loan and all. gorgeous telling mi tat there's interest added. i dunno man. wat if i dun do well in sch. wat if i intend to skip lessons in sch like i did in poly. won't i feel oh-so-guilty? i dunno.
cost=pressure. for now. juz see how things go when i get my answers in april. hopefully.
wait and wait and wait.........doing wat i've done before. or going for i always wanted to do?lastly, well plans for his bday and all. kinda almost done. but not very done. ppl haf been telling mi no need to do so much de la. but i dunno. some button in mi is juz "switch-on"
when it comes to him. doing anything and everything for him. to make/see him happy. satisfied. it shld be fine. knowing tat he's having nite classes next wk onwards. a couple of tests. stress for him. gotta wait till fri to see him. frustration. anxiety.
the wait. it kills. it grows. the unsatisfaction of waking up in the mrning. knowing tat u're not seeing him for the day. sucks. irritating. and when he does things tat trigger the column which says "i dun like". kills me too. but being pissed at him will nv be over a day. well for now. cant even seem to get mad at him. haha. it's funnie. sometimes really wonder wat's going on in his mind. it's interesting.
i'd love to know him betta. learn to love him betta. you: ah-ha! smart! hee..naughty naughty. switching huh. blah blah blah. *bleah*
you: so glad u're gone. i hope. juz buzz off.
thank u sooo much gorgeous for listening and giving mi advice.
thank u sooo much cat for listening.
thank u sooo much pal for listening.
thank u sooo much baby for listening.
cinta.
daddy juz ask mi a funnie/dumb ques: why nowadays always on aircon?
my answer: hot and sticky wat..
his answer: coz u nv bathe rite?
-_-"
5:22 PM
