a supposingly happy day juz came down.

a supposingly happy, fun entry came down.

a shock. a sharp pain. a sinking feeling. a squeeze. an emptiness.

everything ard me seems empty. means nth.

flooded with loud music.

numb.

all i can say is. u and u and u and u again. aint u happy how u're affecting me. ur stuff ur words killed me at tat instant i laid my eyes on it. instantly. the numbness crawled right onto me. into me. geez. aint u juz smiling widely now.i'm the loser. i admit it. i aint tat magnimous. wat are u trying to show. jokes, fun, nonsense can me tolerated. but not doing/taking wat's mine. already mine. no more.

i'm no more ms. nice. no more ms. naive. no more ms. take watever it is. i'll be firm and take my stand.

i'm surprised tat i din cry. out loud. maybe isnt time. with ppl now all ard me. maybe when i'm alone at nite. i juz teared. blast the cold shower. thinking. wrenching heart now. in the mean time. i'm alone. i'm all alone. i've go nobody. i'm a seperate being.

gossips. rubbish. nonsense. u've got ur way. all of u got ur way. i'm done. i'm tired. numbness creeps straight up.

(updated) freaking changed it for the sake of changing. nonsense.

i juz hope you stay. true. know ur line. know wat u wan. who u really love now. and who really love u. dun disappoint. not again. plz. i cant take it. u noe it. i'm gone thru enuf.

ppl's telling me "wat matters the most is he's not affected by it. and he still loves u.", "in the end, u're the 1 tog with him.", "dun let it bother u, u're the 1 having him.", "you deserve to be happy den to be affected by her", "it's when u shut out things that affect ur feelings you'll be happier." "it's not worth it", "it's up to him to draw the line really", "She's a bitch and most of us knows that. so no worries".

thanx so much.

like i always say. it's not tat i dun trust him. i dun TRUST her.

"she is not affecting me coz i onli love you and u shouldnt let it affect u also" -- from baby.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

checkup on thurs was really funnie. all i can say is "guys are dumb". seriously. 1 big-sized guy was scared of blood test. i was too. but was alright not tat bad. urine test was duper funnie. suppose to pee on the litmus paper. the guys pee-ed in the BAG. a small zip-lock bag. 3 of them. mummy and i were giggling so much. coz we cant laugh. it's so quiet in there.

new tuition's juz 1 word. GOSH. finally met baby yday. lunching with him and kambing. bought some stuff. haircut with my haircutting kahki. baby. haha. dinner at Espl. wasnt pleasant at all. icecream at Hagz.






like said. it's the quality. not the quantity. but juz feel it aint enuf. more time needed. right by his side. with his arms ard me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

floating by.

speech locked.

time staled.

pressured coming by.

i'm his. HE'S MINE!

3:26 PM

reen.SLow
18th august 1986

where am i now: pursuing my future!
my all time wish:
to be as happy as i can be

this girl here loves to have people around. she loves chocs, strawberries, daisies, massages, movies, and of coz to indulge in good food and retail therapy!

always cherish those u have. your family, your love and your friends.

+iKa.sHoRtiE
aLicI@.cAt
jOl3Ne
michie-mich
fRieNdStEr
boWlinG dIgest
kiDs sIaO.joEy
boWliNG




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Never Say Never - The Fray
Dr.Evil. i still like u.
image : larafairie