pReCiouS tHotss

time of my life!

2010-02-05T22:15:00.000+08:00

inactive.

coz i'm living the time of my life! haha.

i satt along the window edge, and miss you.

2009-11-22T22:03:00.002+08:00

i have not forgotten you.
lingering still.
i thot it was over. i tot it was gone.
haha. then reality sets in.
i tried to shift.
when face to face. i smiled. memories.
then, i knew it was still you.

as for you, i'm sorry.
my bad. i led you on.
before i could see. i think. then i shut u up.

thanks for replying. thanks for answering.
all the days went by.
busy busy with life. with work.
glad that things are on par now. sort of.
maybe. the dateline.

full-dress.
concert.
father's.
cat's.
test.
wax.
retreat.
dinner.
xmas stay.
bangkok.
dateline.
till then..i still look upon that star. and wish. and hope. and pray. for the day.

loves.

accomplished? dumb? or juz wait?

2009-10-09T22:36:00.003+08:00

getting f-king tired.
both work and thoughts.
gettting crap ppl at work. facing all the stress and ADD ONs.
i'm glad there's onli a couple more mths to go.
hopefully i dun haf to be there again.

failed attempt.
disappointment. lousy. loser. lazy. dumb. simple.
why did i even start?
go on, try on. determined to.

none of those friends are there. not supportive at all.
wat does supportive really mean? agree to u? or juz want u to dump the idea?
for me, i dunno.
i noe i need support.
loads of thanks to father. and kav. and wan. hearing all those.
maybe kav's right, do it. dun regret it. betta to say wat u wan to say, then regret later.
maybe father's right, wait and see. hope for the better.
maybe wan's right, keep occupied. movies, food and nonsense.
all right. all i want to. but i cant.
wat to do?
take it all in? like kav said, give myself a dateline. or deadline?
afraid. scared. nervous. puke.

till dec.
one and two.
ok. let's plan and see.
bought stuff. shall wait and see.
then say wat i want to say.
then be done with movies, food and nonsense if dead.
wat say u?
will u?

tat came back. started on 9th may 2009. wat a significant time. 090509. too late. too bad.
cld be 3rd.

hate when u missed.
thots of u and.
b's not.
when they knock u down, juz get back up.
sometime love comes ard.

sayang.
fight back.

lingering thoughts

2009-09-12T20:08:00.002+08:00

a strong urge to speak.
hoping that my worry will not be a worry.
do not want to jeopodize the relationship now.
do wan a open relationship.
but who will support me?
who will tell me tat i'm right?
who's good? who's bad? i cant see yet.
i juz noe my instincts.
i have you.
thank you.

back-dated work not done.
present work too.
damn, there aint much time.
wat about u?
i need to clear some stuff at work,
to make some time to lurk.
to lurk ard my thoughts,
and think how i to make it clear.

hope to do it right this time ard.
hope 1 time pass!

baby, i missed.

the moments stood still

2009-09-06T21:13:00.002+08:00

busy busy busy.
no time for anything.
but there's always time to tink of u.
hate it, but cant control it.

but catchin up wat great.
today was gd. but am moody.
when spoke bout it yday to frens still choked.
i feel like the time is nearing.
maybe it'll be time soon.
brave up, darling.
do wat u need to, before u regret it.

cool down, think and breathe.
we'll see.
i'm ok.
work seems to surpass time.
tried. sleepy.
but cute tat u still the same u. like to laze.
wanna pinch u. cute.
adorable. gosh. i miss u. damn.

take care. thank you.

call for celebration

2009-08-15T17:14:00.002+08:00

pri sch fren got married.
sec sch fren got married.
poly fren got engaged.

wow. wow. and wow.

for the month of aug i've started to get sick. as mentioned in the book. ok i'm not mi xing k! juz read it before tat's all. not-so-good things that i have read mostly came true. for 2008 and den now for 2009. sigh. given up. sometimes juz wanna end it all. end life and forget about it all. flooded. and still flooding. why cant some gd things tat i've read come true. maybe some did. juz tat we always point out the bad stuff. but hoping so some more "obvious" good stuff. something that i wish.

fren reminded me of my wish at 26. reaching 23 but not there yet. 23/24 suppose to be the time. but it turns out wrong. bad. now the life seem further. drifting further and further away. at this age and this time. i'm really tinking wat i really wan. who i really wan. when i really wan.

finding things to look forward to every wk. following will be 22nd. really nth else to look to. not even 18th. jus wan a simple gathering. a time to relax. a happy moment. and for my wishes to come true. 3 wishes aint it?

earning my own. life, money and people. it's the pursuit of happyness. the movie u love most. mi:3 the time it started. shows tat cant get to watch. i watched my own movie. i cant be there where u are. there's something missing in my heart.

the cinderella moments. the princess dream. now and then. i wish.

let's enjoy our yr now! the moment we live for our own. for ourselves! love ya!

confusion. fear. shld i believe in myself?

2009-08-03T13:50:00.001+08:00

First I was afraid I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
But I grew strong
I learned how to carry on

No more words, no more lies
No more crying
No more pain, no more hurt
No more trying

is this really how it is? will you grant my bday wish?
no bravery. no courage. we'll see bout tat.
thanks for the smile baby.

today is all or nothing day.

2009-07-26T12:05:00.001+08:00

Theres some things we dont talk about
Rather do without
And just hold the smile
Falling in and out of love
Ashamed and proud of
Together all the while

You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time and time again
Younger now than we were before

Dont let me go Dont let me go
Dont let me go [X2]

Picture youre the queen of everything
As far as the eye can see
Under your command
I will be your guardian
When all is crumbling
Steady your hand
You can never say never
Why we dont know when
Time, time and time again
Younger now then we were before

Dont let me go
Dont let me go Dont let me go [X2]

Were pulling apart and coming together again and again
Were growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Dont let me go
Dont let me go
Dont let me go [X4]

hot and cold

2009-07-12T21:37:00.004+08:00

slapping myself right back.
leaving this the same.
having to go and then come back, then force to go.
moving round in circles.
being worn out in the night. tired. in the day.
then, some joys of life.

finding out the meaning of life.
without you.

cheerios!

learning to celebrate

2009-07-06T21:53:00.002+08:00

they wasnt time to stop, think and breathe.
missing the days where i cld sit, relax and dream. not only of you. but of everything.
i cld miss a day. skipped a day. and chill out late.
now, missing a moment is like missing lots of time. it juz flew passed.
grabbing everything moment. tiredness takes over. the only time to ponder.
will be on the train. on my feet. on the cab. with my reddie. i remember this name.
i remember the day you taught me. and then there was reddie. there was.
hair grew long. it curled. skin gets toned. flesh get hardened. grew more and more.
future juz begun. life juz took step. the onli things missing is not there yet.
but i understand the meaning. the understood the lines. only tat, i missed out the days of our lives.
sharing it with everyone. holding it reserved. learning to do it by my own. i clapped.
nights i dreamed. days i awakened. holding on to it is nth but.
hearing my breathe. listening to my heart. i braved myself. stepped out and laugh.
coz i noe i'm strong. one seperates. the other gone. then again.
i looked upon my image in the mirror. i smiled.
it will never be the same again.

a crazy thot

2009-06-26T22:48:00.003+08:00

happy 3rd birthday to ***reen!

born on 26th June 2006. with long arms, long legs, a voice, an orange tee (if i'm not wrong) and a red ribbon on her head.

dunno where u are now. dun tink u're lying on bed anymore. kept somewhere i guess. but still i remember you. hope where u are is not too dusty and u have company.

do hope i'll see u again. reunited properly and happily. but i doubt it. still, do hope to see u.....

take care.

pls help me do.

next, will be a difficult wk to pass. pray hard. very hard.

slurpee.

2009-06-21T20:48:00.002+08:00

But only love can say - try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do

I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our good-bye

the season. you found me. lost and insecure. put the past in the past, gotta find the future.

the conversation tat i thought.

2009-06-02T23:21:00.003+08:00

she: oh hi!
me: hello! how are u doing?
she: oh very well, thank you. how about u?
me: gd gd, i've started work already. haha. juz graduated.
she: oh working at wher?
me: (told her where i was working at) so...having dinner later?
she: oh no, not dinner. jus going (a place).
me: oh okok. so long nv see u. let's meet up a day for dinner k?
she: yea sure sure.
me: ok take care ya!
she: ok bye!

nobody dared to touched on tat. i guess as much. i'm always tempted but pulled back at the last part. great to hear everyone's doing well. will treat them dinner soon. my first pay cheque goes to many ppl i'm close to.

but no sharing with u. the regret

no regrets. u lost.

grad's the day.

thanks for being supportive! =) muack!

2009-05-13T15:02:00.000+08:00

forbidden to remember, terrified to forget.
it's a hard line to walk

short-lived happiness.

2009-05-11T15:53:00.002+08:00

right about now.

mission impossible 3. suntec.

nydc. ride. smooch.

the best holiday i ever gotten.

all smiles to us.

all the talks.

yes u're gd, but not so gd i cant see.

ciao. love y'all. =)

the story about a girl and a boy. as if.

2009-05-09T18:35:00.002+08:00

right about this time. about now.

1095 days. never did stop.

455days. did too.

Bali trip with the babes was great. great experience. looking forward to the next vacation already.

awesome break. a better person i thot. one said i changed. lunching with gor was great. catching up.

sometimes i wonder if i did. moments of blindness led to thru the dark. enclosing what was left behind me. the haunts that did me. i fell into it once again. ignoring the consquences. just for the moment. just for the 'wants' for the comfort. then after which i lost again. the back to original. the no more. no nonsense. crap. i nv did learn, did i.

never let ur emotions overrule ur intelligence.

gonna be a great night.

on monday too. unforgettable.

still vivid. thanks to you. u only.

leaving the country sounded rite. the right thing to do.

2009-04-25T22:57:00.003+08:00

packed my bags. i'm ready to go.

leaving country for gd. to breathe. not bringing any this time.

a sigh of relief. a huge amt of fun with frens.

living for the moment. not looking back.

alrighty. not let's gO!

hopefully aussie during the yr-end.

hk for gor. will see u when i'm back k!

missing quite a few ppl. gor, jo.mok.

steady. leap forward.

=) thanks love. hugs.

shed the skin. leave out all the rest. live life.

2009-04-19T16:35:00.004+08:00

a new stage of life has begun. well the beginning of it.

school's over and out. the day of tears and smiles on fri was memorable. the thoughts of not having familiar faces so often. familiar classrooms. familiar hallways and food. all the complaining for the past years now becomes all in my memories. the good, the fun, the bad, the nights in school. all came into mind.

started the term with a happy beginning. the love, the friendship the place. all so comforting. mid-term crisis. the work piled, the love gone, the friendship gets more, the hated sight of school, the 'lost soul' wandering ard. end of it. with many more friendships, new found love, interests. we've all grown. indeed i have grown. ones who haf been it all with me. know. esp. ling-mei. thanks to all. love to all.

*relief* alright! the new start! but seems like all came tumbling in again. the sounds, the sight, the thoughts. weird dream tat i had last nite. or was it this early mrning. it's weird and hilarious at the same time. shrugs. sometimes they do tell smthing. like those tat i had. told me something.

just like a have a love-hate relationship with the airport. i have a love-hate (more hate though) with hospitals. scared to enter. scared to come out of it.

a mad world. give in to me.

i'm glad to have things to look forward to. unexplainable. the day is getting nearer. nostalgic starts. damn.

*AR gone tml*
*ECP plan with babes*
*mj/meeting up with rog, fifi-owner, ian*
*meeting up with bali-goers*
*dinner with father*
*CATS*
*ah-gong's bday*
*Bali Trip!*
*out with babes*
*the day*
*Genting Trip*
*Final Theory*
*Start work*
*Collection of gown*
*Graduation*

~i miss you~

my life and i take control of it.

past, present and the future. all in the present.

2009-04-13T20:05:00.004+08:00

*4 more days to go*

i dunno how to prob. but first instinct probably be loads and loads of tissues pls. thank you.

haha. well. well. 5yrs. some 2yrs. but still. the bonding thru all the work, thru Boston, thru celebrations, thru it all. we all met, we all loved, and hopefully we have not left. (well, in each other's heart) we will not be able to predict what till happen in theu future. but these beautiful memories will be with us, well, me at least. i know it will be in me. laugthers, jokes, tears, hugs, kisses, supports, shoulders to lean on......i'll count on tat. i hope i still can count on that.

some memories will never fade.......

last wk was a great wk. mummy and daddy went for holiday. projs were piling, had time our VIRGIN *blah* session. wahahha. all i can say is it's not as bad as i tot. and yep i love the result. hee. la la la. proud. den watching Fast and Furious 4. woohooo! well not the person i planned to watched with. but still it was great! awaiting for 5! (seriously it's coming out) den there was sun when there was the crashing session. we learned the dance. waiting to do it in Bali. wahhaha.

geez. all the fun and laughter...i cant imagine living without it.

alright. bumped into 'meh'. sooo long long ago. immediately it was a great big HUG. geez. i miss ya man! but doesnt seem to have the chem anymore. shurgs. oh well. like i say some memories will never fade.

time passes. youth grows. love blossoms. friendship....?

i do not count it as a mistake. i do not regret it. but with my support, i may now start a new me.
~if you have blown it, start over and recommit to abstinence~

dunno to count down anot. but yep.

till then.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

just be happy for now. treasure it.

2009-04-05T14:56:00.002+08:00

that was the 1st movie.

was that being nice or sacastic? hidden meaning?

should i respond to that then?

changed?

should i be happy or sad?

will learn that dance from "confession.." fly will have the chance to turn me tat way in Bali.

=)

leave out all the rest. haunted for the rest.

2009-04-02T19:29:00.005+08:00

i surrender to you.

i'm so scared..

the moment i hear u. i froze. everything was churning. i tot i'd be fine. but i cant be. this time round i could not be fine. my mind din tell my heart to be fine. to fake fine at least. it's so hard.

it was then we started the convo. then blossom. it was later then i fed u due to the injured wrist. then celebrated. it is now. that i tried to run. but u caught up with me. with my thoughts. i couldn't run. period.

i hate this. i really do. i want to get it over and done with. i want it. i want more than this. i wan the past. i want the future. i want now. but i dun tink you can give me. ever. i hate to hear it from them. i hate tat i'm alone in this. alone. i'm not ashame of it. tired of hiding.

i wont do someone else like the way we did.

i want it. i want to be at our secret hideout.

i floated pass some. i gave u up at times. i fell. then i got back on u. i couldnt concentrate. it was a moment of vulnerbility. counted as a mistake. needed something to get away from u. but i woke up and fell right back at u. right back. no question. no thinking bout it. why is this so?

dreams were so real. then they faded out from reality. some stayed. stayed to fill into the reality. replacement the dreams we had. the nightmares stayed. the comfort of them being a dreams. turned to reality. filling all those thoughts with them. those words. the way you touched. the way u had your body against mine. the way u kissed me goodbye. the way u held me like there's not tml and that u din wanna let go. the way those words melted my soul. without any cost to u. they should have faded. long gone. but haunted by the truth. haunted by the past. the love i had for you. the love you had for me. the love we had is the haunting.

collide.

u hated the way "it" did to u. but u did the same way back. was it fair?

^^^^^^^^^
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my
I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

****
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

Keep me in your memory

****
Had no reason, no rhyme
Like a song out of time
And there you were, standing in front of my eyes

You're the air that I breathe
(Boy) you're all that I need
And I wanna thank you, (baby)
You're the words that I read
You're the light that I see
And your love is all that I need

*This I promise you -- had been crushed*

Happy Birthday to YOU. =)

the inconvenient truth awaits.

2009-04-01T21:26:00.003+08:00

a time of hectice projs schedule.

a happy time which screams "I passed!"

a weird, crazy april fool's day. with the "soft" guy.

a moment of truth.

a sweet, happy, yet sad show.

what a complicated time. a time of reflection, sadness, fear, honesty and believing.

and that was the last time i saw you. 天天想你

2009-03-29T22:17:00.004+08:00

3weeks more. never wanted the feeling to end. but somehow i dread the day to come. i do wanna leave. i've been there forever. but the company will be missing somehow. it's killing.

after much contempleting. i've decided on wat to do. thanks. i hope u dun mind.

and that was the last time i saw u. when will be the next time? i dread. yet i want you to tink about it. when will it be like before? the planned meetup at the watch shop. the occasional glance elsewhere.

for the better. it's better.

projs on the running again. wan and my test. outing. bday dinner.

remembered we were talking when they got married. now they had a kid. really cute. but we're not talking no more. time to think before i make mistake. i want to call it my own.

living everyday by the day. happily every after.

=)

When can I see you again
When can my heart beat again
When can I see you again
And when can I breathe once again
And when can I see you again
When does my someday begin
When I'll find someone again
And what if I still am not truly over
What am I supposed to do then

爱要怎么说出口

你的每一句誓言
回荡在耳边
天天想你
天天问自己
到什么时候才能告诉你

我还不明白
为什麽离开了我
没有你的电话
没有一封信
我每天晚上在这里
那里也不想去

可是我好爱你
我觉得我会离不开你
可惜我丢了你
慢慢我的眼泪留下来
回家
回家
我需要你
回家
回家
马上来我的身边

别再哭就让他走
再多痛苦的等候
相信我也能承受
闭上眼
不再留恋
你却一遍又一遍出现

在想你的夜
别说不会有结果
永远
永远
别说分手
而你又怎麽能够
就这样的放手
一去不再回头
be here, just be there, my love and only love

回家
回家
我需要你
哦回家
马上回家
我需要你
回家
回家
马上来我的身边
be here, just be there, my love and only love
回家
回家
马上来我的身边

lie, lie, lie. just lie. i'll stand by you.

soon gone.

2009-03-23T22:10:00.002+08:00

Got a look in your eye,
looks alot like goodbye
Hold on to your secrets tonight
I don't wanna know.
i'm okay with this silence.
It's the truth that I don't wanna hear.
Don't say a word,
I'm ok with the quiet.
The truth is gonna change everything.

Don't want to know
I'm ok with the silence.
It's truth that I don't want to hear.

Keep pretending
Tomorrow's all wrong
if you walk away
Just stay

So lie to me and tell me that it's gonna be alright
So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night
I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart
So look me in the eye,
And lie, lie, lie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you say you gotta go and find yourself
you say that you're becoming someone else

you say you're leavin as you look away
i know theres really nothin left to say
just know i'm here
whenever you need me
i'll wait for you

so i'll let you go
i'll set you free
and when you see what you need to see
when you find you
come back to me

take your time
i wont go anywhere
picture you with the wind in your hair
i'll keep your things
right where you left them
i'll be here for you

*you're my saving grace*

look me in the eye.

2009-03-23T21:53:00.003+08:00

sometimes i stare at the blank thinking. am i lucky or am i down in luck?

they play a fool outta you sometimes. really do.

this bunch of babes keep me afloat. seriously. thru it all.

i'm being annoying sometimes. but i dun mean it. i roll my eyes when silly things happen.

haha. yj created an acc for me. geez. after a yr plus of procrastinating from me. she did it for me. it's really sweet yet funny. irritating. hahaha. they juz dun give up. they juz dun give up to make mi happy. make mi smile.

Kumar Barestrip show on Sat was faaanntastic! wittty, hilarious, dirty, and gosh...made me think bout russell peters show that I went a couple of yrs ago. awesome!

get ready for the FINAL LAP. 3wks more to go. i dunno to smile or tear then. plans for career and future will then be in the reality.

emphasizing that i'll get married this yr. hilarious. hahaha.

earn enuf to provide for my fam. a car. holiday trips. (Bali is nearing!) my goals.

the sight of the future nearing.

dad gave a great suggestion for sat nites. love it. hahaha.

exciting wk. practice. baby bash. test. bdays.

still in the process of thinking on my decision on wat to do.

give me some time.

texted father today. missed it. catching up to do. dinner some time. miss the fam.

the lies. truth hurts, lies worse.

i did it for you. leave the light on.

simplicity

2009-03-19T22:24:00.002+08:00

i want you.

i want to go to our secret hideout.

Part+of+Me

2009-03-16T20:47:00.002+08:00

Part of Me

Posted using ShareThis

Click on "Part of Me". the video's great. hot hot hot!

with all your faith and love

2009-03-15T22:39:00.003+08:00

gelare after a long long time. with wild strawberry.

fav. missed.

stuffed sotong. they were so damn bloated.

haha. ah ma's the best! =)

took the new route. unless i have to then i'll turn to tat.

for now. it's new.

wk was alright.

shop shop. classes. 1more mth to go.

oh. got back to my "babies". geez. i'm lost with them man. the familiar yet distant feeling.

miss them so badly. disappointed. but i'm going with the flow. remembered tat advice.

swing. release. flow. i cant go back man. i dun wanna go back. have been distancing already.

so shall let it be. the past. the distant.

masking with sushi and fly. hee. changeling. i fell asleep though.

great great show. inspiring. a mother's love and determination.

exercise. series to watch. games to play. gosh my wkend juz went away like tat. but i'm happy at least.

the coming wk. nai's bday. playgrd. haircut. talk. kumar show!

another wk!

i'm becoming a great person! *clap clap*

you had me at "hello".

new word: locasexual.
so damn true. so you.

accurate to the exact point.

lucky to be have been where i have been.

2009-03-13T00:03:00.003+08:00

reminded of the fun past.

how fun it was when no worries.

juz meet up and sport.

hahaha. it's funnie how we've all kinda gone our seperate ways. sort of.

keep in contact. but no more days and nites at the place. no more late-nite suppering.

i brought my babies back. well 'babies' abandoned for quite abit. inside's kinda dusty.

i missed them. first thing was to put my fingers in. (what are u guys thinking?)

haha. well..tml shall see if they still work!

steady. lucky. my once best friend.

lighter. i love you

feeling of loved. blessed. and awake once again.

2009-03-08T21:48:00.003+08:00

begin.

许多的伤痛都已经忘掉
记忆里剩下的全是美好
只是我们都清楚地知道
心里还有个划不完的句号
只怪你和我相爱得太早
对于幸福又了解的太少
于是自私让爱变成煎熬
付出了所有却让彼此想逃跑
上天让我们相遇得太早
对于缘份却又给得太少
才让我们只能陷在回忆中懊恼

it doesnt matter anymore if i saw u.
it doesnt matter anymore wat i tink about u.
it doesnt matter anymore wat u tink bout me.
i cleared it. i loved it. i will remember it.

movies with my girls. a couple seat being occupied by 2 girls. not by u. sharing waffles with the girls. not with u. walking home by myself. not with you. many more without u. shopping with the girls. not with you. not getting anything for u. going for massages by myself. not going with you. not sharing the couple jacuzzi with you. not having a couple's room. i got used to it. i noe i will.

when i was watching "The Curious...", a phrase struck mi. i remembered,

u said, "Will you still love me when i continue snoring in the future, when we're old, or when I have all the aches on my knees and my back?"
"Will you hug me and be there when i sense and is afraid of something under my bed?" (he always tinks tat smthing will come out of under his bed you see. haha)

movie said, "Will you still love me when my skin get old and saggy?"
"Will you love my acne?"

it made mi missed you. but it slapped. and i'm fine. old me dead and gone away. the new me is gonna be right.

i read smthing. and it hit me. it wasnt like tat. we were blinded. we may have been. i've never really said too much. juz leave the light on. if either of us comes back. try to leave the light on when i'm gone.

i'm stronger than I thought I am. and nobody. nobody gonna bring me down.

esp to tat level.

i will always remember wat u said. nv to go down to tat level.

i'm happy. i'm a betta person. i have a goal in life. surely. concentrate on my career for now. party when the time comes. with my friends. be a glutton when there is a chance. slp as much when i can. drink as much when I am safe. i'm cool. i'm satisfied. be there when anybody needs me.

men give loVe to get sex, women give sex to get lOve (maybe it wasnt like tat?)

Remember those walls I built
Well baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make a sound

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

can i keep you? period.

our song. unbelievable. my valentine.
the rest. disappeared.

if loving you with all my heart's a crime. then i'm guilty.
guilty.

my babes. my thick and thin. my bodyguards.

2009-03-01T21:54:00.021+08:00

sch has started again. but this time round it seems much more meaningful to be in sch. coz after yrs of being in sch and for some of us yrs of being tog. we're parting in a couple of mths time. some are counting down but i'm not. coz i choose not to. for some we went thru so much tog. the happy times, the sad, the stress, and more happiness. for some we've onli known a couple of yrs but seems like we noe each other so well already. the happiness and thick and thin. we've gone thru. the tears, the laugther, the jokes, the lameness, the endless projs nites, the encouragement, the celebrations, the photos, the endless fun and friendship. may it last on.

this entry is dedicated to all my lovelies. my babes. for me. sided me thru my difficult time, celebrated my happy times, encouraged me thru the endless projs and frustration. all i wanna say is thanks for it all.

maybe i sound sad, do you think i'm alone? holding on alone?...

i realized. woken up. understand and cherishing. i noe i got the rest.

ps. babe, borrow the bear ah. hee.

i have ppl to share the fun and crazy moments.

most imptly, i have ppl to share the yummy food with!

woahoho. u see this you noe. at least once every yr.

indulge in the healthy fruits and sinful choc fondue.

hmmm how contradicting! *wink*

my babes noe.......sweet!

she's been with me thru it all. big part of my pillar.

5yrs. babe, 1 thing. stop banging into glass pls.

plus. can i swop positions with ur 'bff'? hahahaha.

see! we can be 'bff's! u dun do this to ur 'bff' rite?

licking things off. oops. or juz a kiss on a part of the body. beep!

she always sees me in her own way.

a way i noe i will not be judged.

thanks for being tat wonderful darling thru these yrs.

hand-in-hand. supportive. endless nites rushing projs. and letting me fulfill all my crazy ideas.

she is always 24-hours on call. well almost.

but i had a chance to catch her at times.

we'll meet up at the nearest "drinking".

my all-time drinking-buddy.

i owe it to you. you noe it.

not letting other influences get to you or me.

non-judgemental. love you for tat.

a great leader. a great friend. a tissue-provider. =)

being so near. yet somehow far. but the distance is being drawn thru these yrs.

i cherish you.

those huge sunglasses covered half of my face. damn.

beach darlings. spotting ah ma. guys. couples.

they sure noe how to light up the day. without the need for sunlight.

urggh. cheesy hor. too bad! i juz love them this way!

words of encouragement. never getting irritated by my constant msgs.

stood by me thru it. nv tell me "no" but "why do it? why not?"

always feel light when tog with her. connection.

no words can explain.

oh. one more thing. she made me club. haha.

she protects me. safe with her. plus she's my other drinking buddy.

am i bad influence? haha.

but she told me tat it doesnt solve probs. instead of drowning.

why not save urself but getting a float.

the float with all of your arms.

left to right: sings bad. sings fantastic. sings and dance like nobody's business.

*pull ears* -- ps. i better go mop the floor now. hee.

singing idol. she took lessons k. and it made her well.

her fan-si.

lovely. crazy. beautiful. amazing.

she's someone who is of the same ht as me.
ps. ok i'm slightly taller k. admit it. haha.

she made this with me by the roadside for j's bday.
it's called a gummy-cake. gummies on pandan cake.
how creative!

i tend to bully her.
say things unintentionally that may have hurt her. but she took it.
jokingly i may have hurt her somehow in someway.
she din despise me. she still stood by me like a great fren.

she supported my crazy ideas. she had dinners with me.
she took me to the other part of spore.
she understood. she's strong. she made me strong.
she's always tired. but she is there when one needs her.

it is a gang. s. a1. a*. f. acronyms.
they're the party babes. non-judgemental.
always encouraging. turning me back from a loser.
not a winner yet. but a person who aims to become.

guess whose sexy leggies. wahaha. *pls dun kill me*
urmm. *wipe tables? mop floor? or clean the windows?* haha.

she has a great mind. straight-talker. i like it.
she has goals. some similar to me.
we have the mind to venture out into the world.
explore countries.
but she asked if tat's wat i really want. and i think about it.

she's the entertainment. she sings like crazy. eng words only pls. thank you.
she dances like a rockstar. a show tat nobody sees. haha.
she's my dancing buddy at club. oh plus my crazy drinking buddy too.
she drinks like a hippo. like a particular someone up there. haha.

gives great advise. makes me think sometimes.
shopping babe. in spore and in boston. haha.
tink some will say she has the same character as i do. in some way.
geez. is tat gd or bad? hmmm.
i juz noe tat she targets, swift in action, and fast in words.
and i like tat. she's my madam.

she adores maggi mee. she loves doggies. she bites her nails. her daily diet.
nv seem to get full though. hee. she gives hugs and kisses.
she makes me laugh with her unbelievable moves. her screeching voice keeps me alive.
she hears me out. and do not judge. she's a brave and strong babe.

she told me she's not in her early 20s anymore. she's mid. but in my heart she's like us.
coz she's of the same size as me. or urmm smaller? hahaha.
words of encouragement. never to give up. check up on me.
working for her future. she's my auntie. hahahha. oops.

left to right: retarded. retarded. retarded.
she's adventurous. she's strong. she love to indulge in scrumptious food too!
she offers hugs. she can be rather 'cold' at times. i mean in terms of jokes.
she's a gan-jiong spider at times. but sometimes she's cool.
she's a friend whom i can lean on.
oh and newly-added - she's my driving buddy. cheers!

couldnt stand my 'smelly-bolster' falling to her face in the mornings in boston.
one of my roomies. cleaniness freak. loves theme-park rides.
efficient. lends me shoulder to lie on. no words. but i noe i'm safe.
if one can get crazy. she's the one. the real one.
the innocent wink. the "i'm so poor thing" look. the nonsensical sentences.
she nv fail to light up the day. she bring laughter to my life.
and laughter is wat i always need. i love to smile, to giggle, to laugh!
she's it.

picture perfect. my float.

2008. halloween party. club. crazy nite of make-ups and accessories.
shall do it again!
nv let the moment go by. cherish it.

1 more person: shah - thanks for the encouragement. the love. the support.
u noe we're so near rite. hee. naan buddy. she was there when i needed help.
she's the support. always.

a portrait that will speak many words.
no words can describe. besides thanks. i owe it to you all.
i love you darlings. i cherish the moments we have. that is 1 thing i've learnt.
a couple more mths.but let's make use of these times. make it a better one.
we'll nv fail. the tough love. the friendship and the times we had here and in boston.
will never go away.
for those who are going for hols: bali's up! *so exciting!* =)

seeing the future. not alone. not struggling. hope.

we need a plan of our own.

as in the past.

2009-03-01T17:17:00.003+08:00

分手都已过了那么久
现在也有自已的生活
你身边有个人牵着你的手
我们就像是朋友偶尔联络

心情不好你会来跟我说
我安慰你不难过
等你恢复笑容
总是笑着道谢转身走
变成朋友的你和我并不轻松

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
你还在我心上某一个地方
看着你为了他失魂落魄不说一句话
爱的重量不在我身上

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
我不能像你这样说分了就忘
我这样是坚强
还是忘了爱的勉强
过去不想全部隐藏
就试着遗忘

说
对我诉说你跟他满脸笑容
我微笑地聆听接受
过去的你和我
是否也爱得那么冲动
痛哭好久开心也有让人感动

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
你还在我心上某一个地方
看着你为了他失魂落魄不说一句话
但是我的心现在却比你还伤

i could see i love you
it hurts me deep in my heart
我不能像你这样说分了就忘
我这样是坚强
还是忘了爱的勉强
让你看透我的心现在我不想
是该说放就放
就试着遗忘

痛苦我会遗忘
只想看你开心的模样
新的恋情让它成长
而过去
就放在心上

patience getting lose. losing it. lost it to you. 败给你

2009-02-25T18:28:00.005+08:00

i may juz not have the patience.

i took the initiative. i gave in. what are you?

i'm still waiting.

will you be there when i'm back? will i be here for u?

things may change. getting frustrated. impatient.

when u're in a dream, you dun wanna wake up. but when u do u get pissed, becoz it's juz a dream.

go out there and do your thing. then come back to me.

I hate the way I don't hate you; Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

it's all up to you already...

it seems like man can get outta a relationship without even a goodbye, but apparently women have to either get married or learn smth. do we search for "lessons" to lessen the pain?

u're my addiction. still the addiction. cold-turkey could last forever.

if growing up means that ppl leave and loved ones passed on. i dun wanna grow up.

or do i need to face it. and be strong without a choice?

*the rainbow that daddy asked me to see made my day!*

stronger than yesterday. nth's in my way. come home.

2009-02-23T21:55:00.003+08:00

Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

你有一张好陌生的脸
到今天才看见
有点心酸在我们之间
如此短暂的情缘
看着天空不让泪流下
不说一句埋怨
只是心中的感慨万千
当作前世来生相欠
你说是我们相见恨晚
我说为爱你不够勇敢
我不奢求永远永远太遥远
却陷在爱的深渊
你说是我们相见恨晚
我说为爱你不够勇敢
在爱与不爱间来回千万遍
哪怕已伤痕累累我也不管

我把你休掉你没什麽大不了
忘记你比爱你还容易
既然爱没有天理
我不想再吵来吵去
再骗来骗去算我倒楣总可以
失去你比留你还容易
虽然说比较 lonely
我可以嚼嚼口香糖
回到大街上随心所欲的去流浪
我爱你我想你
眼睁睁看你消失
我却更不想沉溺下去
为了爱可怜兮兮没骨气

风空洞吹过一年又这么过
思念独舞成旋涡
承诺太沉重
你背不到最后
任凭我独自坠落是我太执着就像那残留的灼火
微微弱弱颤抖
用所有爱过的回忆原谅着你
恨自己不能把过去放弃
此刻我却无能为力
我们的爱变成我自己的悲剧

Stop Me, Stop me from falling
cause I can see
then I'll love you only
when I am the only one, too
I just can't make you understand
I want your heart but you hold up your hand
you say space is what you need
but you want me to be true to just you
while you get to do whatever you want to

You'll never stop
it's gotta change
you don't want a lover
you want a world of slaves
I can't resist falling into those arms
those boyish charms
you think I won't leave
yes you're good,
but not so good I can't see

dedicated to a good fren:

feelings are uncontrollable, but wat we can control is wat we already have in our hands. cherish wat we have and not complain about what we don't. mistakes we all may have made. but these mistakes will be lessons for us to learn from. through all these mistakes, it'll take us a step nearer to the right one. ease up. just dun make the mistake again. coz it aint gd for anyone. cherish. respect. treasure. it's all we've got. be a step ahead of others. dun go down to their level. for us, we'll always have each other. hugs.

~woohoo~

truth hurts, lies worse. like strangers. so polite. thanks. you 2.

2009-02-19T23:32:00.005+08:00

after having a couple of endless sleepless weeks and surviving on 4hrs of slp everyday. i have made it thru. we have all made it thru. and i'm proud of myself and all of us. 2 more months to go. to the end. i hope not of our friendship. the strong bond we all had. sadness feels me when i tink about how lost i may be when we all split. there should be a routine planned to hang out once every fortnight or month. it's gonna be hard. but i noe we all will work hard. be strong. i noe i haf to be coz it wun be everyday when i'll juz have a shoulder to lean on. to hand to hold on. or a smile to give me support. it's vague. it will be. friendship come and go. but strong ones aint many. i hope we'll all sail.

a week of break seems nth much. but since i was able to be with myself alone. thoughts kept me awake. they kept me thinking. emotions ran high. keeping it to myself. not letting myself be vulnerable. one time smiling and cracking terrible jokes or idiotic comments to other. they laughed. but i smiled. covering my crack. the night. the wind. the crowd. i see. i quickly had to escape when i leaked. but i dun feel the high. but why. just the familiarity of words. the memories of your words, your touch and our love. soulmate. the one. i hope. i thot. i held on. a new start. a weird start. no explanation. no worries. no strings attached. ur needs may be met by another now. mine not. i had a plan on my own. to survive. i will survive.

i am not sorry for loving you.

Memories
Supposed to fade
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go
Didn't think it be this hard
Should be strong
Moving on

a yr before. a yr from now. how will it be. nobody will know. a part of me will always be with you. the laughter, the tears and the love. will ur part stay with me?

How can you just walk away from me,
When all I can do is watch you leave,
Cause we shared the laughter and the pain,
And even shared the tears.

If you're coming back to me it's against all odds,
And that's what I've got to face.

There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why,
You're the only one.

So take a look at me now,
So there's just an empty space,
But to wait for you is all I can do,
When that's what I've got to face.

You got a piece of me
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
I really shouldn't miss you,
But I can't let you go.

It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion

alright. i'm good. tanning and movie tog with girls. looking forward.
a big change.
have you seen it?
gd nyt.

i love you. i miss you. and i'm not sorry about that.

2009-02-15T17:50:00.002+08:00

It's been so long
That I haven't seen your face
I'm tryin' to be strong
But the strength I have is washing away

It wont be long
Before I get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you
Tell you what's been on my mind

I wanna make up right now, na na
I wanna make up right now, na na
Wish we never broke up right now, na na
We need to link up right now, na na

I miss you much
I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Until I get you back
I'm gonna try
Yes I miss you much
You are the apple of my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much

I want you to fly with me
Want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
Miss how you lie
Just wish you could dine with me
Wish you could dine
One that would grind with me

pure entertainment. entertainment is just taking a say in it.

2009-02-05T07:37:00.002+08:00

i'm glad that outta my hectic busy schedule, there was still someone who still keeps me laughing and rolling my eyes when I saw those "funny" words. pure entertainment. haha. thanks for keeping my blog alive ya. haha.

well 1 comment to watever it is.

i love him dearly. i love for who he is when we were tog. i love him for seeing who I was when we were tog. i love him for letting me see who I was when we were tog. things tat i cant see when i'm alone. but now. i see things tat i do not noe I have or I could do when i was with him. being independent. being career-minded. being efficient. being loving to all those ard me. he will and forever be a huge part of me. either u noe it or u dun. i noe i noe it. and tat's all tat matters. I do not need any tom-dick-or-harry to tell me wat to do, who to love, where to go or why i shld do it. so stop forcing me to stop loving him. be it u noe mi, or u noe him, or u noe both of us as a couple. this is a new beginning. so stop putting ur foot into my space. if u're not happy. LEAVE. if this is the reason u think he left me. then i'll be more than happy tat he go find his happiness. coz i love him too much to pull him back from what he wans or love. he means everything to me. i may have hated him for once. hated him for leaving. but i'm doing a great job without him too. my frens and family can vouch for tat. i'm sure.

so get the hell outta here if u dun wanna read all these crap. coz these crap means alot to me and are sweeter than sweet memories to me. so dun u dare judge me or think u ARE me or noe wat do SAY to me. coz u dun. and u're like i saw. ENTERTAINMENT to all of us.

cheers.
i love him.
hate tat i love him so much.
but i do.
i always will.

get lost! =)

i'm no more before. i'm a new me. all new. learnt.

2009-01-28T22:38:00.008+08:00

Im sitting here

Thinking bout

How im gon-na do without

You around in my life and how am I

I gon' get by

I ain't got no days

Just lonely nights

You want the truth

Well girl im not alright

Feel out of place and out of time

I think im gonna lose my mind

[Chorus]

So tell me how you feel (im lonely)

Are you for real (so lonely)

Do you still think of me (i think of you)

Baby still (are you lonely)

Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time)

So let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)

Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)

Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)

I think that i will never love again

[Verse 2]

I miss your face

I miss your kiss

I even miss the arguments

That we would have from time to time

I miss you standing by my side

I'm dying here its clear to see

There ain't no you,

God knows there ain't no me

Don't wanna live,

I wanna die

If I cant have you in my life

So tell me how you feel (im lonely)

Are you for real (so lonely)

Do you still think of me (i think of you)

Baby still (are you lonely)

Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time, so lonely)

Oh let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)

Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)

Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)

I think that I will never love again

knock back on my door.

2009-01-18T12:27:00.002+08:00

As long as Lions - Maybe i'm just tired

If love comes your way,
don't be afraid.
Unlock the box your heart's encased.
Hope it won't change
and beware of the games
that she'll want to start playing.
Oh lately babe
I stay awake thinking this life
gets lonely.

Well maybe I'm just scared,
scared to let you go.
I want you to know,
right from hello,
your love just kept me wondering.
Well maybe I'm just tired,
tired of never knowing.

I know i'm not good enough for you.

If I can be saved,
show me the way.
Help me help myself baby.
Don't be confused,
our love is true.
Just tell by the way I'm looking at you.

thanks for the memories. u blow the kiss but just don't feel the same.

2009-01-05T00:27:00.005+08:00

nth much left to say.

at this time last yr. we were at the airport waiting for your flight. saying your goodbyes. with me tearing. hugs and kisses. all the assurances. the ang mo we met onthe way into the airport seeing mi cry, and the tee i was wearing, then telling u tat "she really loves you.."

i wanna erase all these. but i just cant. last yr. waiting for ur call to go in. when u did. the kiss you blew to be behind tat glass panel just dont feel the same anymore. coz i left. u lied and u died. the day i sent you off. i sent the love we had off. well u did.

thanks for the memories. till the day we become frens. i wish u all the best. i just want you to be happy. while i am too. i miss you. i miss us.

i'll always have you. in the memories. in my heart.
the image of you tearing in my arms. will always be in here.
i'll always love you. saya cinta padamu.

till then. ciao.
you're gone. and out.
a new year. a new beginning. 09. significant yet new.
happiness ahead.

*breathes* load off.

till then. i will try.

2008-12-19T17:21:00.006+08:00

holidays are coming to an end. juz yet. but well i guess i've really make myself useful and have been very proud of the person i've become. not juz wasting my time and rotting. but finding smth meaningful to do. like working. and it has indeed opened up myself alot more as a person. seen more heard more. love more. cherish more.

ups and downs do get to me. still. i'm still compiling our story. not smthing hard to do as all the memories are still very fresh in my head. till now for me. u might have forgotten some stuff. but for me it has always haunt me. fresh as it is. still loving every moment of what we had. but sometimes ppl juz get tired. just like u did and u moved on well and fast. fast is the word. like u always do. but for me. i'm still stuck in the very same spot. oh no. i'm moving though. just those memories and images of u still in there. it's ok. dec is a really hard month to pass. although it always zoom pass so fast. coz a yr ago this time we were cherishing watever else time we had before u left. doing wat we have been wanting to do. to eat. to enjoy. to have fun. and the time we had out first safari visit plus zoo on xmas day. and spending the last few days of dec tog. you, me, and your fam at Selengor. i miss those times. it's ok. the new yr is coming and i'm super looking forward to it. coz once the clock strike 12. i'll be off. off u. tat's certainly my new yr resolution. i will quit. i muz quit. i muz quit you.

breathe. sigh. alrighty! well happy times like celebrating father's bday by buying the watch and flyer tix with clara and gor. jane's bday. hanging out with the girls. centre's concert. i'm so gonna miss my kids. andrew, r.chow, cheryl, kelsey, alexis, my daniel.baby, samantha, and many many more. they juz melt my heart. although they make mi puke blood at times too. and of coz all the other frens at the centre! msia trip with fam and neighbours. halloween party. partying. geez. for the holiday. i've done quite abit. and i'm satisfied and happy bout it. oh and all my frens from aust is going to be back. jo.sweetie, cat and mich. and now next wk i'll be going aust with my fam. and of coz meeting jo.sweet there. hee. exciting!

there's many many pics to be put up. but me no patience no time. haha. so shall wait till i'm back.

going for singing with cuzzies. hangout with cat tml. bro's bday dinner. and tang yuan on sun!

i miss the trip to Boston.

the sun. the beach. the sea. the tan. the party. the love.

get out. don't waste your breathe becoz it's too late. it's too late.

till i'm back! so long everyone! tata~

i realize there's someone creepy behind posing in our pic too. hahaha.

loved.inspired.touched.life.

2008-11-17T23:39:00.003+08:00

has been tired but dun really wanna slp yet.

it has been a rather hectic wk. physically and emotionally. but it's ok. i'm ok. i've gone thru tat enuf for the yr. it's time to move on and be somewhere betta. thot there cld be a person for mi. but there aint. it's only my own wishful thinking. but it's ok. i'm fine. as we girls always tok. there's only 1 conclusion and we all noe it. it's juz tat i always thot there will be somebody different. a person who can look at mi differently. a person i nv thot i'd haf smth for. but surprises always gets to you. so well. who can u blame? maybe myself for being too into it. shrugs. but it's ok. i was being insensitive and i understand.

finally going back to work after many days of leave. haha. but well when a fren needs u a fren needs u. and i'm the kind tat will do anyting for a gd fren. somemore it's my pal. so of coz gotta be there for him. i remember mummy always saying tat i'm too skinny and tat she resemble her when she was young, then when she grow older she shrunk. wat she said to mi kept replaying in my mind recently. guess it's someone i knew and who always had a smile on her face tat had an impact on me. i'm really touched and inspired somehow after wat have happened. i mean emotions do get to me. left mi being sad and crying and stuff. but i noe infront of my pal i haf to be strong too coz i dun wanna get him down. and i'm super happy and impressed at how strong this fren of mine is. i've known him for so long, and this is a really big challenge/hurdle for him, and yet he was able to pull himself thru it. broken down a couple of times. but it's ok. it's perfectly normal. and i'm glad i was with u pal. hugs. it really shown how much a person can be forced to grow, and how much a person can affect u so much, making u stronger, more matured and more determined to be a better person and also help and cherish people ard u.

i guess i cld go on ard this. will do this later. but all i can say it:

we're all here for you, pal. you know we are. as ur pal, i'm super proud of u. so be strong. stay strong for ur family, for her, for ah gong ah ma, for yourself (as the responsibilities u have ahead) and definately for mummy k. she'll be proud of you from above. hugs.

much more to say before the yr end.

frens. my future. my life.

cherish wat you have and not complain about wat u dun have.

friends with benefits. people always leave. people always lie.

2008-11-15T16:14:00.002+08:00

"(he) is seeing someone else. I cant believe it, (he's) suppose to come back to me....

i noe u dun wanna hear this but wat if (he) doesnt? wat if (he) dun wan to? u cant wait ard forever, maybe it's time to move on....

(he's) suppose to come back......" -- OTH is one of the best shows ever, and this is one of the quote tat meant to me.

life's nv easy. but dun let difficult put you down. suppose to is one thing. but u taking control is another. maybe it's time. maybe it's relief, maybe it's joy ahead. who noes. i dunno. he dunno. we dunno. but for now. one more step for me to push ahead for my future. to the next wk coz this yr was such a crap.

enuf said for now. alot more to tok bout but has been lazy to write. maybe it's time to revive on my own. and maybe hold on to someone more impt now.

time to move on. no strings attached.

friends with benefits.

people always leave.
always.

12th sept. 2006 - i can never forget. i miss you.

2008-09-22T00:20:00.001+08:00

Take me back in the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again
And remember when
There was no one that you wanted more
Don't go you know you will break my heart
She won't love you like I will
I'm the one who'll stay
When she walks away
And you know I'll be standing here still

I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

See me as if you never knew
Hold me so you can't let go
Just believe in me I will make you see
All the things that your heart needs to know
I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

And some way all the love that we had can be saved
Whatever it takes we'll find a way
I'll be waiting for you
Here inside my heart
I'm the one who wants to love you more
You will see I can give you
Everything you need
Let me be the one to love you more

bday. movies. great time!

2008-09-01T22:36:00.007+08:00

on sat went on Movies at Fort Canning with Team 2. our nightmare of the heavy rain came true. lucky there were mats and stuff ard. it was a great experience watching movies with gd frens. but i was hoping to have a better show though. haha. but well Sassy Girl was great. touching. plus with so many couples ard us......well well..reminds mi or someone. *slaps* hahaha. tat will be wat my frens will do to mi. anyway. great company. great time!

jo.fly, sushi.ron, c.SLow. (hahaha)

celebrated abby's belated bday. she looked great with her hair. so cute! hahaha. missed the times four of us are tog. with my crappiness of coz. haha. MOF. cake. wat can i say. great great time. with conversation of waxing. hahahahahha. geez.

being retarded. =)

i love the mochi!

bday girl and mi..

also in our animal theme pose. hahaha.

them in their naughty theme pose.

next up. memories about you.

18th august 2008.

2008-09-01T21:53:00.009+08:00

this was long due-ed pics. haha. but i was busy plus lazy to update pics also. these were on my bday itself. my girls had a little surprise for mi. i love surprises! from sentosa till the day. surprises still continues. la la la. the flowers, the cards, the lunch and dinner with family! i love the day. onli regret was u not being here. ur words. ur promise of being here for my bday will always be in my mind. but well. my frens and my family. it's all gd. it's all gd. HUGS!!

when i'm home. i juz wan Brownie to celebrate with me.

i love you!

pre-bday fun.

2008-08-25T23:14:00.026+08:00

after a wk from my bday. things has been gd. this entry was meant to be done last wk. but sher here was lazy. plain lazy. ahahaha.
alrighty. for my own indulgence and fun with my girls, i booked a room with jacuzzi and a romantic setting/view. of coz without the one i love. but with the girls i love! hee. and of coz they had supplies (surprises i mean hee) for mi! one after another. haha. and of coz on my bday itself with the pretty flowers and card. hee. and of coz my dear jojo's card. hilarious! hahaha. plus they accompanied mi to eat my fav. DTF. haha. and dinner with fam. oh oh. plus cat who always mail stuff to mi. hee. i love you all! thanks!

all i can say is. warning - many photos to come. hahaha.

the romantic room.

sweet.

private jacuzzi!

poolie! (ps. hot model. hee)

jamie, jane, sharon, jo, madam.

My Bday Surprise!

sunset view. in our own private space.

Dinner & after-Party

i love this pic. look like drunkards. haha.

pls focus on the image at the back. (they were trying to bring in the cake)

piggy-back I liKe!

World's shortest Model Award.

Foam Party!

my prezzie in a Heart! $222 worth of 2-bucks notes!

hahaha. creative!

I had a wonderful time. shall write more in my next entry. it's already almost 3am. the pics are killing. hahahhaa. anyway. i owe it all to this grp of ppl. my girls. my mates. without them i will not walk through till now. i love them all. thanks for making a 'alone' bday so amazing. HUGS!!!

2008-08-13T21:23:00.002+08:00

ok, i din really expect myself to blog, but my dear jane kept bugging mi bout my WISHLIST in class. haha. urmm i dunno if the list is of u now, coz i got a cute cute pres already. haha. but here it is! (i find super long ago from my previous post lo) didnt haf a wishlist for a long time already. something familiar. (eh dun say i din warn u ah..i put wishes that u cant fulfill)

==>> update on my wishlist:

things i need to accomplish myself

*firm up fats on my body* (hahhaa)
*get a tan*
*be a better person and love my family and frens*
*treat myself well*

assessories

*tiffany&co's bangle and ring..hehe asking too much hor*
*Coach's yearly planner*
*diamond all-round ring*
*more earrings!*
*perfume: Escada Sentiment, Escada MoonSparkle
*pretty make-up*

Huggable, pretty things

*precious thots wedding dolls (esp the GUY doll de from wisma)*
*gigantic "forever friends" bear from TANGS*
*big sized "me to u" tatty bear*
*musical ferris wheel*
*a projector tat can project stars pics on the ceiling or wall*
*the flipping modern clock at citylink!*(coz i cant afford the antique one haha)
*the "shy man" lamp at citylink!*(it's juz so naughty and adorable...whoohoo hee)
*the glass cinderalla heels from the "movie shop" at suntec* (romantic!)

Clothes, Bags, Shoes

*Gucci wallet and bag*
*Prada antique bag*
*clutch with a Big ribbon*
*more heels!*

comfort

*choc spa*
*strawberry spa* (yum yum.)
*a massage, detox session* (woohoo.)
*a cruise trip*
*head/hair massage*

1 impt wish who only one person can fulfill

***giving me one more chance. letting things come back. being by ur side and supporting you no matter wat. i've grown. i've learnt. i could have treat you and love you better. my wish is just 1 more chance.***

ps (jane koh, plz dun smack me. hahahhaa)

ok tats all i can think of. din even think of my 'wishlist' at all in the first place. hahaha. my life's gd. with my frens ard.

will update more. din even write bout Boston and school. and my new found girls. haha. let's relax and have fun tml!

haunt.

u're still the one i love.

2008-08-05T23:16:00.002+08:00

1 bday confession -- "i miss you.."

I need to talk with you again,
why did you go away,
All our time together,
just feels like yesterday,
I never thought I'd seen,
a single day without you,
the things we take for granted,
we can sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again,
will I see you again.
Cos time will pass me by,
may be I'll never learn to smile,
But i know I will make it through,
if you wait for me.(won't you wait for me.)
And all the tears I cry,
no matter how I try.
They will never bring you home to me,
won't you wait for me in heaven.

Do you remember how it was,
when we never seemed to care.
The days went by so quickly,
cos I thought you'd always be there.
It's hard to let you go,
though I know that I must try.
I feel like I've been cheated,
cos we never said goodbye.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again.
Cos I miss you so,
and I need to know,
Will you wait for me.

I hate the way I don't hate you; Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all* i still heart you

2008-06-24T09:53:00.003+08:00

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day

睡著的大提琴
Shui jiao de da ti qin
The sleeping cello

安靜的舊舊的
An Jing de jiu jiu de
Quiet and so old

我想你已表現的非常明白
Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
I think you've made yourself clear

我懂我也知道
Wo dong wo ye zhi dao
I know and I'm sure

你沒有捨不得
Ni mei you she bu de
You don't regret

你說你也會難過我不相信
Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
You say you're upset too, that I don't believe

牽著你陪著我也只是曾經
Qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin
You being with me was in the past

希望他是真的比我還要愛你
Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
I hope he loves you more than I do

我才會逼自己離開
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Only then will I bring myself to leave

Chorus
你要我說多難堪
Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
You want me to say it, but it is awkward

我根本不想分開
Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
I don't even want to break up

為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?

我沒有這種天份
Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
I don't have the ability

包容你也接受他
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
To accept both you and him

不用擔心的太多
Bu yong dan xin de tai duo
Don't worry too much

我會一直好好過 Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
I'll still be fine

你已經遠遠離開
Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
You've already gone far away

我也會慢慢走開
Wo ye hui man man zou kai
And I will slowly walk away

為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
Wei she me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when [we] break up?

我真的沒有天份
Wo zhen de mei you tian fen
I really don't have the ability

安靜的沒這麼快
An jing de mei zhe me kuai
Staying silent doesn't come so fast

我會學著放棄你
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
I will learn to give you up

是因為我太愛你
Shi ying wei wo tai ai ni
Because I love you so much

* happy birthday faireen*

dedicate to the dedicated.

2008-02-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

Almost Lover

You fingertips against my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy for you
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

thanx to all. misses to u.

2008-01-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

has been like since dunno how long ago did i blog.

sch's been really really super busy. it's a gd coz it's keeping mi REALLY BUSY. duh. but bad coz i'm getting worn out easily. boo. sch's very crazy. with 30assignments to hand in within this mth. gosh. and aveg of at least 6assignments per wk. the word is AT LEAST. damn. but i'm super glad tat my frens are with me to go through all these. my clique's super caring, warm and sweet. we've got hardworking, loud, noisy, funnie, auntie.....wat else. haha. they juz simply add life to sch. and at least not make mi dread hell to go sch this sem.

i'm on my own for 3wks now.....baby's gone for 3wks..with msgs and a call per wk. it's keeping us going for now. i hope it'll go on. he's busy with course. i'm busy with sch. when he's back i hope i'll be in and free. gosh. let's pray.

i'm super grateful to my other clique. my happening clique of coz. pal, mich, ian, teh lan, kok, teddy, fifi-owner, clara....my happening frens playing mj till wee hours. and having the patience to wait for mi coz i'm 'mj-newbie'. coz since baby left i'm on my own to chiong with them. but i'm really having fun. i'm glad pal's there for mi too. and mich esp. thanx for everything girl. u make mi feel betta. clara too, always there with mi at the start of the whole seperation thing. I Heart You All!!!

let's pt out some stuff tat happened. hmmm. :

12/1: cousin's dinner. super yummy with crabs and sashimi(s)! too bad baby's not there. hee
13/1: clara's bday dinner at The Glass House. nice dinner. super funnie way of celebration they have there. poor girl was sick. i tot doing dinner with clara and baby's family even though baby's not here is kinda sweet. let's do more dinners!!!
and of coz getting baby all those things he need and having j send over to him. smiley cookies. tidbits. gu huo zai vcds. faireen's new voice. many many heat packs. hee.
17/1: gorg jing's bday dinner cum surprise. after my facial. headed to do my work. den dinner at NYDC with uni-mates. loads of fun during dinner. den headed to jing's place for midnight surprise. everything was nice.
21/1 and 23/1: nai's really really nice. both of us headed for I.N.T. dinner. hahaha. (only we noe wat tat means) super yummy as we discover new dish. garlic nan with marsala chicken. wat can i say. both times we ate till we were super bloated. haha. all the waY! love the conversations we had too nai!
25/1: which is today. some proj stuff with mates. haircut. shopped for an impt person. bleah. headed hm and now i'm here. juz finish tml's assignment. life's quite dead. without baby ard to hang out.

life's quite mono nowadays. but well fri's mj-ing has given me a reason to look forward to wkends. and of coz assignments. looking forward to CNY. more gambling. and mani/pedi. pal's going shopping with mi this wkend!! (i hope...humph)

got more info of summer-immersion to Boston in June. transist and tokyo and detriot. how interesting!!! woohoo! although it's at the terminal. yes it is. but still shopping at tokyo! we'll do it! but before the happy and interesting part. we gota do all the paper-paper work to get us into US. *headache*

baby, i hope u're doing fine. food and ppl there are gd. faster get ur net. cant wait to see u. there might be some disagreements btwn us during this period but i really hope we'll make it thru. juz like the way u promised me. i miss you.

said will put up other pics. hmm. let's see. cant manage to put all again. connection sux.

sweet cuppies.

the 'weird' pic.

9 special letters.

we hold on together.
our last month-niversary before baby left.

nth has changed. everything is still the same. ya rite.

u're irritating. damn right. u hit the spot. glad u found bout it urself.

this is life.

baby's gone. sch's in. i'm lost.

2008-01-06T17:03:00.000+08:00

happy new yr to all. well the new yr is 6days old already and i'm already feeling the drag.

the day came. the day end. and now this is wat is left of me.

has been really spending time with baby before he leave. meeting up for lunch/dinner. movies. shopping. lazing. swimming. well days like tat came fast and went away fast. well let start off with some other things first. dec somehow is impt to me. coz it's the only month of the yr that i really feel like i'm a holiday mood. i'll be relaxed and just not think bout anything else.

holiday job was over juz before baby finish his reservist. I'm glad i had tat job coz i cld keep myself occupied and earn more ka-ching! hee. stayover at cat's on 11th and 12th was gd. we had crazy jap-food shopping. den making our own sushi and much sashimi the next day all to ourselves. hee. yum!

on 14th it was baby and me day. hee. made jap food for baby. he love love the food i made. hugs. den went off for spa. den it was shop shop and den yummy buffet dinner at Orchard Hotel. weee...hee. on 15th we went lappie shopping. we got the same model lappie. den headed for mj at kok's and hanging out with pal the next day.

movies we caught were 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' (we love the soundtrack and theodore--"i had a nightmare, can i slp with u?" aww..hee) vcds we borrowed. some were boring but 'Premonition' was fantastic. it really touched me, make mi think, make mi tear when tinking of how u feel when u lose ur loved ones. so cherish every min with them (that had an impact on me knowing that baby's leaving at tat moment) 'Redline'. cool show. with all the babes in short skirts and voom-voom cars. 'AVP 2' interesting show. baby likes predator with mask on. eee. ugly! haha. 'I'm legend' was our last movie tog. i tot it was a depressing show. so sad. baby tinks the sad part was the dog saving the owner. awww. bleah. always movies with him. now he's gone i dunno who will i watch movie with.....

we also spent time mj-ing at david's and kok's. not forgetting the oh-so-expensive-and-yummy food on bro's bday. baby ate such food for the first time and he was so damn impressed. haha. with 9 full plates of sashimi for 13ppl, cold dish, noodles and.....pen-cai. it's in a big pot with loads of ingredients such as abalone, sea cucumber, fa-cai, duck, scallops..i cant remember wat else but loads of expensive stuff. baby din even wanna leave a drop of soup behind. hahaha. he's so cute! den we went to the zoo and night safari on Xmas Day!!! weee. zoo was great loads of animals and ppl ard. cute kids. and yes we met baby's best fren and his own species. haha. bleah. den off to safari. first time for both of us. tram ride was cool. we enjoyed the whole day whole trip so so very much! hee. *happy* den on 26th we cooked tog. eggies and curry rice. plus vcd.

***********************************

left for Selangor with baby and family on 27th. poor baby wasnt feeling well with his tummy. steamboat lunch cum dinner. and of coz the funnie pronounciation of 'dessert' and correcting gor's usage of words from the waiter. wahahaha. alley. guys went to dye and cut hair. gor's was shocking. baby's was nice. i did henna. mac's for dinner.

went to KL for lunch. scrumptious-yummy-fulfilling buffet. i'm glad gor suggested there. haha. poor baby couldnt eat much. there were range of sashimi, paper-pot soup, western, spags, teppanyaki, chinese, oysters, desserts were trays of cookies, mochi and cakes for u to choose. ice creams were also high-end kind!!! wahhh!! i ate until i din feel well. hahha how horrible. sunway shopping bring back memories of when we were there last yr. alley. yummy nasi lemak.

lunch steamboat with pal and david when they arrive. tournamet starts. did nails. surprise for him. hee. baby made it to finals. 9th. well done. lunch at Chicken Buffet (why spore dun haf such cheap food) got home by 9plus.

i had a great trip. baby too. commonly used phrase/words during the trip was "toothpaste" -- courtesy of gor who imitated it using my 'morning voice'..den baby made fun of me saying it was cute -_-". and baby's "i like to make fun of u leh..".......he's so dumb..

***************************************

back in spore was swimming and more swimming with baby. everyday. coz he needs to practice and had me teach and help him. haha. all i can say is he's super cute in the water. the way he wears he's goggles, being shy, and all the dumb actions, looking left-right before he swims to see traffic he says and the 'walking' in the water stunt. I JUST LOVE HIM!!! hee. dim sum. pasta. jap. delifrance. cried to him loads also. how shameful. boohoo.

baby got new shoes and says he'll tink of me when he wears it. haha. helped him with packing at his place. he got a bag full of soft toys hahaha. our toys. wahha. reached the airport at 1145pm. cry cry. stupid me. had probs checking in due to the full flight. waited and he went in at almost 2am. cried hell. but when baby spoke to me in private. all those words seems so assuring and comforting. i cld feel him hugging me with all of his energy.

and yes. some thick-skinned duck just had to make the last goodbye. even though duck was rejected. duck had to be so determined to call again. all i can say is. fuck off. it's a new beginning. without u. at all.

i'm glad baby told me wat happen and assured me. i hope u come back soon darling. getting internet and card and all. glad that he's safely placed after he called. cant wait to see u. and he promised to send me branded bag and money when he earn enuf. hee.

*****************************

I wanna say a BIG BIG thank you to all my frens. those at the airport. clara, mich and pal. frens like cat, nai, jane and jing. thanx for checking up on me. asking mi how i am. and clara and mich thanx for lendin me the shoulder to cry on at the airport. telling me everything's ok and not to worry. i cant say how much i wanna thank u guys. being there when i needed someone the most. so now i'm alone here. must ask me out k? hee. i love u all!!!

**********************************

sch's starting tml. i dunno if i'm ready for tons of work again. but i haf to be. i'll remember baby's words to tell me to study hard. being occupied with work and frens i hope i'll be alright and overcome the feeling of emptiness.

will be leaving for Boston too in June. hope time will fly.

next up are photos for memory....

**********************************

office view.

jap food at cat's.

ika and meijiki.

love the inari.

tigger, doremon and heart cookies.
----------------------------------------------------------

waraku's dinner with cat.

cream udon was smoooooth.
----------------------------------------------------

father's bday dinner.

with pal, clara and alvin

------------------------------------------------------------

26th dec 2007.

baby getting busy in the kitchen.

--------------------------------------------------------------

in the car to holiday.

baby slping with brownie. i love.

cheeky baby.

rooar.

dunkin'

surprise for him.

brekkie.

finals.

-----------------------------------------------------------

dinner. jap. our fav quail eggs!!!

memories for him.

more pics will be up later. too many haha.

baby if u're reading this. I LOVE YOU!

XOXO

gone for the moment.

2007-12-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

~off to have a holiday with baby...~

dun wanna be back. coz when i'm back. the days will be counting......reality will rush in. already started crying every nite. whenever i think about it. he wont be with mi. i'll sob.

i'm really enjoying myself for the pass few days. update lots lots when i'm back. loads of pics esp. hee. zoo and night safari with baby on xmas was great! night safari was the 1st for both of us! hee. and making dinner tog today. simple yet sweet. and vcd watching. hee.

will see baby again in 6hrs plus!

i'm cherishing every moment we have tog now.

plain laziness

2007-12-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

i'm not tat busy. but i jus din really wanna on my lappie and come online.

some pizzies to put up. but not yet yet. haha. will write up abit more. juz updates that baby and i have gotten new lappies. same somemore. haha. i've finish my work contract. kinda miss ppl there. but not really the envt. baby has finish his reservist. it's raining so much more nowadays. good food. jap. meeting ups with pal and all. got so much update. but now i'm kinda lazy. oh and some ppl went back to blah. haha. duh.

will be back with more pics and written post. thank you.

heart

1 more month to go.....

2007-12-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

deadline's nearing.

i wan days to go slow now. well or should i say after this wk i wan it to go slow.

last wk was a hectic crazy wk. well sort of but i'm quite happy about how i spent it. met cat for jap dinner (jap's her nemisis haha) den met pal and clara for shopping for father's prez. and of coz pal was freaking panicky knowing he met be late back at camp. had his jie pick him how. how gd can mich be! hahaha. awww.
den on tues my freaking hp died. and i was super panicky. because i cld contact nobody. nobody can contact me. i cant leave without this hp of mine. memories in it. stupid.
tv watching session on thurs with pal and clara at my place.
stoning session at src. waiting for new for baby to come out. and he did! met him for prata! so so happy i throw him a great big hug the moment i saw him.
sat was great catching up with mich and pal. hee. dim sum. father bday dinner at Riverside. all i can say is yummylicious!!!! we all love it! auntie and all. hahaha. plus the surprise cake. we were all super duper full. headed to pal's place. mj-ing.
dim sum again with fam. The Kingdom with baby. good show. poor baby was sick. hai. dinner den chill at his place till we gotta part. booohoo....

well the new wk we get new challenges. and i mean CHALLENGES. damn. the pressure at work is inevitable. killing me. plus those mean, rude, stupid ppl. i'm sorry. some ppl really make mi *vomit blood* (haha). well well. i hope this wk will pass. den the wkend will come again.

meeting cat tml.

baby and i are spending every time tat we can tog. well i hope. i cant believe time's ticking. i dunno how to say but now leaving him seem so too very hard to happen. i'm so reluctant but seems like i cant do anything coz the final say is up to him. and i know he'll hold on. i'll remember the whisper into my ears in the car baby.

"we must make it work k baby...dun leave me..wait for me k.."

see you on sat sweetie!

Happy 21st Birthday my DEAREST CAT!!! (30th Sept)

Happy 20th Birthday Jane Koh!!! (4th Dec)

too bad we're all busy we cant spend it tog.

bite bite nose.

2007-11-26T19:37:00.000+08:00

a wk of tiring matters just passed. out everyday waking up early. but for baby no complains.

almost whole wk spent at the alley. onli tues manage to some time alone with him. but of coz tat involves running errands for his future job. gelare. movie at PictureHouse. dinner at Bakerzin. we both love their caesar salad. baby says if veg taste like tat he'll eat it everyday hahaha. but at least he's improving. eating more veg than before. but some stupid things came up and change some of the day.

even fri our outing day was spent at the alley coz baby had to qualify. i was pissed coz i tot everything was planned out. but things din go according to how it was planned. but well. sat we manage to be out. had fun. the whole wk was running to and fro from alley or to alley. supporting baby and be there when he needs someone.

i have been wanting to make the wk as pleasent as possible. changing my mindset and all with the leftover time we have left tog. appreciating every moment. but some things dun always go according to plan. esp with some rubbish ard. i'm sorry. i might sound mean but nobody can make mi like wat i hate.

but i love him.
---------------------------
he is doing his 'every man gotta do' time. hahaha. i'm so sad. for 3wks i onli can see him during the wkend. but after wat happen last nite. he's getting all sweet and loving now. and i love this feeling. it's juz monday but i cant wait till i see him on sat!!!

i'm watching "I propose". the show can help but make mi go awwww..and just make mi how mine will be. who will be the man. where it will be. how it's going to be. how will my ring loook. hahahhaa. juz like everytime i attend weddings i'll tink how mine will be. haha. so so funnie. sweet sweet romantic!

cat's back last wk. michie's coming back tml. jo's coming back on fri. gosh. i cant wait till all my frens are bacK! coz i need them so so super much......i'm happy tat i did some catching up with pal and some frens too. beside some irritating nonsense. i cld haf been a happy girl. happier girl without ur prescene to haunt me.
---------------------------------
i love it when he told mi he'll bring faireen and cross-stitch over with him. and tat he'll get my acc number and pass mi part of his salary to save up. it sounds simple. but loads of meaning to me. i got so much to tell him. things i dunno how to say. the most simple will be 'please dun go' and 'i love you baby'.

i love my frens!
huggies!

entry for my beloved.

2007-11-18T12:24:00.000+08:00

my nightmare has turned up.

nth seems to be able to get it done. nothing.

i hate the feeling. i hate the loneliness i'll get. i'm a very dependent person. i cant be alone.

the unusual time spent. the far-away place. the 'no-skin-touch' meeting. i can nv do tat.

now hanging out i appreciate the time tog. the warmth from your hands. the look in your eyes. the smile u give me. the song you sing to. the hugs you give. the peck on the lips u give. the whistling every moment now and then. the passionate time we have. i cannot let you put all these behind.

the dinners we go to. the time we hang out. who will go to the movies with me now. who will? who will hold my hand when we watch movies and who will take bus rides with me. sharing my mp3. listening to the 'repeating songs'. like it was accidental.

what about wat we've planned. the dates to be tog. sharing every 9th. special occasions. now. i do not worry about my Boston trip. i worry for the new yr to come. it's really the 1st time i'm so reluctant to move into the new yr. 2008. seems to be a nightmare.

i cant believe it. the 1 i can really love. want to be really with. smthing like tat have to happen.

i know is our future. i know i have to learn. i know i have to sacrifice. but this is too selfish.

what if i yearn for touch. wat if i yearn for kisses. wat if i yearn for hugs. wat if i yearn for the smell. the smell from his face. from his shirt. no way am i gonna learn that. that far away.

it's gonna be just less than 2 mths for now. i can never do. nobody can help me. nobody will really understand me. except you. but you have to go. i'm so helpless i'm so down. i'm so depress.

i will wait for you. i hope i will. u say u will too. but we dunno wat will. who will. how will.

i love you baby. i love you. plz dun go.

2007-11-08T15:22:00.000+08:00

i like forgot i got a blog or smthing.

started work this wk. kinda boring. but gd pay to look forward to. like wat cat say tat wat kept her going to work last time too. haha. lucky it's juz for a mth.

small gathering at aishah's hse for hari raya was great. laughed till i cried with them. coz of some fun retard game. yes fun yet retarded. hahaha. i love them! the wk had some relaxing therapy. facial and massage. going for another with baby on sat. there was also the 'attack of pigeon-eggs steamboat' hee. late nite out yday. with boys gambling. it was fun.

two-sided ppl. hate this kinda ppl to the core. next wk seems like some happening wk again. coz cat's going to be back. who love work?? blah. dunno wat i wanna write. but for now shall go bathe meet pal to shop. den meet gor and baby later.

cheerios peeps. i miss my clique!!!

hugs!

2007-10-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

this is how my boyfren's treatin' me. this happened juz a couple of hrs ago.

(got him to transfer me 2bucks to draw out 40bucks from my acc. instead of 30bucks)
me: ok drawn..
he: ok..so now u owe mi 2bucks k..
me: huh.....oh so now is like tat la...2bucks also wanna owe owe la..i'll wait till 1 day i owe u 5cents den i'll try it at ur face!
he: hahaha..bleah..

(uncle talking bout yr-end bowling trip)
uncle: shereen can come with us ma..
me: huh go where? (surprised)
uncle: can get kambing come also..coz we can book apartment ma. is the kinda got living room, got 2 bed rooms, got 1 maid room kind.. den kambing can slp in the maid's room..
he: (cuts in) no she can slp in the maid room wat..(referring to me......)
me: huh..*stare*
he: hahaha...no la no la.....

my baby's is THAT LAME. he is THAT NICE to me. change liao change liao. we were happy tat the offer was made again though.

well. was worried bout job decisions. dunno wat to agree on. i guess the wkend will get the answer.
headed for early interview in the morning. waited for dear for so long....'The BraveOne' on tues. waffles of coz. manage to get donuts and duck for dinner. interview with jane today. boo. 'PleasureFactory' today. yes it's R21. not p**n. so i dun find it why i shouldnt watch it. well. the show's slow. but well. it's kinda touching actually. showing the lives of how ppl are going thru. icecream was gd too. baby got my greedy-look pic. bleah.

well well. the wkend seems busy. i'm not really looking forward to this wkend. cuzzie bday dinner tml. baby got wedding dinner so cant come. sun he's going away.

oh well.

mood: sian.

the wheels go round and round.

2007-10-22T13:40:00.001+08:00

some big happenings for the wk. but still. things somehow always turn out well after. after seeing tat face. looking at the smile. hearing the voice. smelling the body. it feels everything will be fine. already. i love smelling his face. hee. his tee too.

the wk of movies. "Alpha Dog" on wed. "SuperBad" on sat. and "Brothers" on sun. hahaha haha. well i guess tat's one of the things u tink of when there's nth much to do in spore. hee.

lovely yummy choc macaroons on wed. we were way toooo bloated. i heart macaroons but they are too over-priced i tink. hmm. dragged baby after his reservist on fri to accompany mi for dinner. i'm glad to see him. really cute when he use the soft sweet voice over the phone. then headed hm to watch 'Cicakman'. great great show! i was alone at hm and laughing my head off. hahaha. it's a real comedy-action show. haha. it's not juz a malay show. it's a GREAT show. onli after watching baby and i noe tat cicak(lizard) are scared of rubbers. haha. and of coz peep peep at baby during work. hee. coz.....hahahhaa. ssshhh. la la la. jap dinner was alright. den finally. yday had a day to ourselves. well tat's wat i tot. till he was called in for meeting last min. -_-" booo. he had his cool cut. movie. then our time. hee. i love it. some sexy stuff. hee *wink wink*.

alrighty. the wk of ups and downs. i do still love him. ever. nv got tired of hanging out with him. looking forward to tml's date. coz we've got quite a few things planned. and my interview. geez. it's starting to look gd. other den all the rubbish nonsense tat is always getting into the way. love u!

my phone freaking shocked mi when i cld not on it in the morning. red light was blinking. din haf any of it before. onli after tat day did i noe how impt my hp is to mi. all the sweet memories. all my frens' numbers. i panicked so much tat i called baby early early in the morning to complain to him. hahhaa. den he suggested tat i go put on the charger. and noe wat. amazingly *ding!* it was ok. conclusion: my phone's batt juz DIED!!! well i guess i was panicky coz my hp wasnt in a gd condition in these few days. hahha. *slap me*

now plans are currently off. nov wun be a gd mth. coz he's going away for a wk. den reservist for 3wks. stay in!!! aahhh. out on sat back in on sun. damn. which means i'll onli see him on the wkend. i need to keep myself occupied. till dec. den hopefully we can go holiday. i HOPE. no promises. so well.

*i miss my girls!!! heard tat ms. Bong got a new hair! wee..hee. i wanna see!

*i love online shopping with cat now. hee. cant wait for u to be back in a mth! we have to keep each other company rite. hee. la la la.

*jo..i wan my Krispy Kreme! hee. i miss u loads!

i'm sitting right here, but hey, u cant see me...

2007-10-16T15:16:00.000+08:00

i woke up today wanting to go to sch. to have my frens ard me. hmm weird it is. but well i guess i prefer waking up to something to look forward to. rather than the usual and dunno wat i'm gonna do but juz rot infront of the tv and lappie. i looking forward to tml.

Mr.Woodcock on fri. was hilarious. entertainment. and of coz we did some shopping. sat i skipped harry potter's bday to go to my ah ma's place. and well i was lucky enuf to haf all the good food there. nv fails to. hee. woke up early to meet baby to go masters. a whole day of bowling on sunday. we managed to catch a couple of hrs on our own. all i can say is baby and gor are taking in some 'ka-ching' haha. esp gor. hee. la la la la.

i'm watching movies. tele. some art. well. tat's bout my day. the job's aint getting to me yet. well juz waiting for it. many to things to get man. but some things it aint all bout the money man. it's bout the love. definately.

oh and yday caught a documentary Jonestown: the fall of paradise on discovery. it hit me real hard man. much documentary such as BTK killer and tat. tat's why i love to watch crimenite. haha.

to my girls, i juz wanna let u noe tat i'm really missing u guys now. we gotta come out!!! hugs!

i juz watched "I Think I Love my Wife" and i like this:

"I'm married, u're single,
dont call me, dun email me, dun text me.
just leave me the fuck alone, got it?
juz leave me the fuck alone..."

rings a bell. take loads of guts to say it. and i love it. i'd appreciate it too.

peace peeps.

i love this!

2007-10-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

the start of the wk was great. i'm looking forward to a great wk. gosh it's been so long since i'm feeling this way. well tat's wat i assume it is to be. haha.

well. the wk started with jane and jing coming over to help me and be my guienea pigs for my first cooked meal. haha. yep yep it was a secret. it went quite well. and we did smthing else tat wasnt in the list. brownie. and hmm yum. it's nice. hee.

den yday treated baby lunch. after trying out on my piggys the day before. hee. tomyum soup, eggs and sambal sotong. with rice of coz. hee. la la la. i'm kinda proud of myself actually. he's the first person i cook for and i'm quite satisfied with wat i can come up with. haha. i'm not a 'tomyum-person' but i love the 1 i cooked. baby said it was nice. i tot the sotong was ok but baby tink it cld be improved. but "well done for the first try baby" --quoted from my darling. hee. saw his face lit up when i showed him the range of food i made for him. hee. sweet.

oh tat black thing is the heart-shaped brownie. the color not nice i noe. it's choc man!
haha.

shopping in town. loads of stuff i wanna get. haha. dress. shoes. heels. pumps. tee. shorts. skirts. damn. so many things with so little money. jobs here i come. hahaha. i need them. plus for my yr-end-planning holiday. haha. well baby and i "snacked" so much along way shopping tat i wasnt really ready for steamboat dinner. haha. sushi and seafood bisque was heaven. hee. so we settled dinner with smthing to share. den headed hm. we so din wan the day to end. coz somehow i felt it's been quite long since i felt this way bout my sweet baby again. i had loads of fun yday man. I love you baby! muack!

"I'd rather be with nobody else but u baby" -- quoted from my man. yea! hee.

well today has been watching video and job-hunting. eating rubbish. gosh. i'm kinda boring out from my holidays cept looking forward to days i can hang out. job shld be on soon. looking forward to fri with hons. den sat for a sweet fren's bday surprise. hee. ok got some stuff to complete. some work to do.

cheerios peeps. big hugs!

Happy Birthday to my harry potter! hugs!

i'm stronger than yesterday

2007-10-07T14:06:00.001+08:00

of coz. wo hai shi bu fu qi. but wat can i do?

cant get things straight. cant get my point done. but wat to do. i love him too much tat i have to gif in to him once again. i really dunno how i do it. frens tell mi coz i love him tat's why. if it was mi last time. one time mistake. bye u're going hm. now things are different. and i cherish it very much. every moment. maybe tat's why i cant take disappointments and i take things too hard on myself.

can avoid talking means a betta future ahead?
can leaving the prob as it is means peace?
can giving in again and again proves a bigger heart that i have?

no. they are not. one more time. i'm outta my cage. i swear. i'm no more ms nice. coz i noe wat wan. i noe wat i have to stand for. i grab and earn wat belongs to me.

"always be strong. that which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger." --thanx! hugs.
-----------------------------------------
to celebrate the completion and end of the 1st sem. we had a small bbq. haha. it was fun and cool. food i tot was great. juz found out tat non-spicy white otah is oh-so-delicious!!! couple of games here and there. the nite was fun. with great frens i haf. and making more and more frens. i love it. more to come!

back to reality of meeting baby once or twice in a wk. went shop shop alittle on fri. nimble here and there. and of coz we forgot to take wat we bought. geez. caught "Resident Evil: Extinction". great show. with a bit of gross factor. i dunno why we watched tat coz both of us din catch the first two serial. haha. but still it was gd. more shop shop. dinner at Fish&Co. from gor's fav mussels to baby's fav now. haha. super full meal with yucky boost. dead long q of taxis. snore.

den yday was a slping day coz i din get slp in the nite. den shopping with fam. bought a blingy top hee. lucky mummy can wear so bought it so we share. scrumptious dinner at Plaza Market Cafe. i uber-love the herbal chicken soup, the diy cesar salad and the stir-fried lala(clams) haha. yummylicious! i feel like glutton.
-----------------------------------------------------
the holidays are settling in. i need a job. but i dunno wat i wan or wat i can get. let's juz cross fingers and hope i'll find 1 asap.

but first. looking forward to tml when jane and jing come over for some stuff. hee. and of coz looking forward to tues. nowadays this date seems harder to come by. hmm.

hmm let's see wat i can do today.

cant wait for all my frens from aust to come back.

oh lastly. bitch.

thank you.

hoax. truth. my superman

2007-10-02T14:29:00.001+08:00

i can *sniff sniff* smell the holiday coming. juz 1 more day of sch on thurs. woohoo! well honestly i'm in the holiday mood now already. haha. i'm juz gonna slack today off. going to ah ma's later for dinner. den tml i'll start doing my LTA and maybe go see the match of the century. (ok i'm exaggerating) baby's team against gor's team. haha dumb. oh 2 thing first.......

2nd october: Happy Birthday to fifi-owner!!!
3rd october: Happy Birtrhday to gor!!!

big HUGS to both!!! *smiles*
--------------------------------------------
the reason i havent been writing:

the past wk has been a really really long and tiring wk. much anticipation and confusion. the starting of S.O. is the start of everything. esp those ying hun be san(s). haha. oh shld i say duck?! (ps. duckling sound too cute le..not suitable. wahhaha. it's my secret with my sama-sama) hahaha. *wink*

anyway. the whole 2wks was about bowling and more bowling for him. while i was pia-ing my projs. 20/9/07 is a day to remember. coz baby bowled a 300! yep yep. technically he was the FIRST to bowl a perfect game in the tournament. but of coz his name was not registered due to some stupid errors. errors tat are not exactly his fault. therefore no money to claim. sad. i will nv forget the day. neither will he. he said he couldnt hear anything from anywhere coz i guess he was concentrating. and for me. who was standing right behind him with the intensive pressure from the huge crowd standing behind me. i almost died. hahhaa. esp when there was a couple of "heng" shots of pin 2 and pin 7. my pee almost leaked can......hahhahaa. and when the last shot was thrown. the face of baby's when he turned ard is smthing tat i will always be in my mind. many hugs, handshakes and phototaking. well i juz stood at the back calling kambing. waiting for him to come over to gif mi a hug. hee.

being down there almost everyday. made mi see alot of things. real-side of ppl. hated most. liked a few. esp someone i juz knew for a day who is so nice and friendly unlike others. shrugs. attitudes always seem to fill the alley always. forever. so who cares. i am who i am. and i have my baby tat's the most impt. drama fills the wks too. talk with baby. solutions decided. i love him. i love his patience. his love. and his care and support. muack!

to prove ppl wrong. baby managed to bowl a 299. hahhaa. the last pin standing was drama lo. all i can say is baby's the talk of the whole tournament. he's appluaded and respected by ppl. no matter wat. my baby will always be my superstar! (ok disgusting? i dun care! humph. hee)

our long awaited movie marathon. hee. 2movies on tues. Savage Grace and Rouge Assasin. of coz much more smuggling in. hee. we're tat pro! then headed to velo due to miscommunication. i went for dinner. he went to do his balls.

finals was on fri and sat. woke up early to hand in my proj in sch. i tink i was the 1st hahaha. so that i can meet baby at his place. headed alley with gor and baby. baby did well. gor did great. champ plus a perfect game. woohoo! but they bowled till late tat day. like 430am. duh. and had to wake up at 6plus. went over to baby's place at 730 to go with fam. and baby freaking bled so much when he bowled. the skin juz tore. all i can say is lucky i was with gor and baby in the car. they were so so tired but still had to drive. tat i had to be super noisy in the car to keep gor awake. pinching, beating screaming at him. wahhaha. i'm sorry. coz he was practically closing his eyes. at their place while the slp. baby slpt like a pig. while i had the tv to accompany me. duh. for the day. i'm glad baby is honest with me. thanx darling. hugs.

both of us had our slp on sun. make up. hahha. but of coz being the lazybum. he slp till 3pm. *snore* met baby. had loads of fun. then finally our Hanabi dinner!!! woohoo! hee. feels so gd to have $$ rite. haha. i love hugging him! hee.
----------------------------------------------
the wks have taught mi a couple of things. ppl. attitudes. langs. i'm itching to bowl noe. but well. politics. wat can i say. i'm glad tat i caught up abit with pal. with frens from long-time. and of coz supporting and spending almost everyday with my baby. it's a long and tiring wk but it's worth it.

shop shop with jane yday. hee. did pedi with her last wk. yday did mani. whahaha and i'm proud of her jumping outta her skin-toned color nails. weee. hee. yummy tarts. and bought myself and baby's fam jellies. hee.

now. let's find for jobs. haha.

somethings shld start soon. and be solved soon.

oh and i'm so happy and touched tat cat send mi a postcard from aussie!!! hee. i love her!!!

thanx for all the frens who were always with me. cat. muchu. jane. jing. samasama. hee. i love all all of u! muack muack!

and of coz. there's love there's hate. the widely known hated person. YOU! hahahhaa. la la lala. bleah.

since he havent had time to take his superstar pic with mi. here's one of my fav. hee. sweetie!

2007-09-28T01:19:00.000+08:00

havent blog for ages.

loads of happening events.

after today i'll feel like a free-er woman.

cant wait.

baby's finals later. he's the talk of the town.

waking up early to go sch hand up proj. den go over to baby's place.

i need slp man. snore!

some asshole. (baby's version is ass-hold hee)

snooze. real.

2007-09-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

sun's always a drag. coz mon's juz a few hrs away............tat means sch......but of coz when i start GOING TO sch..things will get betta when i see my girls. arghh i've been super lazy can. suppose to start work on fri den i drag till sat den drag this now. gosh and it's due on wed. WAKE UP!!!

anyway. have been blogging lesser coz the wk's always almost the same. kinda. this wk aint 1 of the best wk. esp the wkend. but well it ended kinda well.

starting with mates staying till 1am to finish up proj on mon. meeting baby for lunch before he goes to work on tues. presentation on wed. hanging out with jane then later jing on thurs. den met baby and goat for dinner. and then league at mt.faber. on fri met baby after his interview to order mooncake in town. dinner later. gd day, bad day, gd day, ended with a bad day. tried to work things out on sat. it's was fun and gd. den collected mooncake for mummy, ah ma and mother. (haha..see the names..he ask why he cannot call his mummy. i told him coz he NEVER call his mummy. it's mother. haha) his parents love the durian mooncake. the same from last yr. hee. gd day, ended with a bad day again. today caught "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" with baby at W.M. the show's great! hilarious gay-themed show. haha super funnie. dinner at O.C.K. they serve gd curry chic rice and nasi lemak. chicken wings. then ice-creamery at B.T. a looong walk to the bus stop coz baby tot he was tat direction. haha. he can be real dumb at times. but it's cute. finally a day when it was gd, gd, ok, ok, alright..hahaha. it was quite a gd day today. kinda miss times like tat with him.

how how how. previously he was rejected. now he has another chance. i noe i shld support him. but i cant bring myself to being 100% supportive. the verdict will come soon. i noe he juz want it so much. and it's kinda gd for our financial stability in the future. but wat about our relationship stability? will it be gd or bad? how long will it be? so many questions running thru my mind once again.....gosh.

can someone put mi back on track?

next wk aint much. schedule's much the same. cept sg open. hope to meet up with pal and teddy coz i havent seen them for ages. ted especially. got some plans for next wk too with baby. but of coz his bowling. his sch. my sch. his work. where got time!!!?? and of coz some ppl i dun wanna see. shut.

hmmm. my girls i need. ppl to open myself to. i miss them. i miss jo.

some having some childish ppl ard always bring 'life' to our lives. haha. seriously. stupidly funnie. oh well. *wink*

2007-09-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

I.C. with jane. i heart the "right side"(cant remember name)
chucks of strawberry and cherry in icecream. with touched-caramelized whipped cream.
YUM!

Waffle Cottage's choc fondue.
we heart the waffles and bananas. haha.
now baby and i are members. automatically coz we're first 20 to try. hee.
slurp!

another wk's over. 4 more wks of sch to go till long 3months holiday! this time's holiday seems to be shattered. i dunno. but well. when time gets closer the plan might juz work out *shrugs*

most of this wk was spent rushing and completing our poster presentation. jane and i. 3days 2 nites stay at my place. we felt like dying when the 1st nite we had 3-4hr plus slp. the next day was worst. she din slp coz she was editing the work (she has a standard to meet) while i 'napped' for 2hrs coz i wasnt feeling very well. we scattered ourselves to sch. slp in the cab. slp in the canteen. wahhaha. we were 2 zombies. and guess wat our grp went first! and i was so nervous and din haf much time to present tat i took my hand-cards off and presented wat i can. *hope i did well* hee. but we're so so proud to say tat......our posters were G-R-E-A-T!!!! woohoo! praises from classmates and lects. hahaha. our hardwork of cutting, pasting and designing was worth it. the S-H-I-O-K feeling was there. haha. now let's juz hope the report and all worked out. *smiles*

oh and we made our way down to occ. and the kids remembered us!!! i cant believe after seeing them on wed and tinking bout. i've known this bunch of kids for 2-3yrs! i've seen them grow! awww. they're such active and capable bunch. i'll always miss them. hee.

after not having enuf slp for the past few days. headed hm after sch to nap for an hr before meeting baby on thurs. food fair at suntec. marvellous. haha. laksa. shark's fin. peking duck. ma la fishballs was DELICIOUS! woohoO! haha. watched "I know who killed me". satay and sambal sotong dinner at esplanade. haha. oh we caught "Hairspray" last sun too. show's so cute! hee.

fri skipped lect. coz was freaking tired tat i juz wanna lay in bed. briefing for Boston. 5wks now. 1 more wk of missing my baby. headed to B.T. for field trip. freaking hot weather. plus monkeys. plus steep slope. plus monitor lizards. i dunno wat i've seen for this trip man. hahaha. plus plus juz before we left there was a super duper heavy downpour which got all of us wet. how to not get sick like tat......duh.. dinner with mummy. den chilled at hm.

haircut and mani on sat. waited for baby to finish work. got ma la fishballs again. hee. dinner den went to catch "Real Man, Fake Orgasm" at The Room Upstairs. the play was gd. somewhat sweet and touching. interesting. pasar malam dinner at nat.mus. it was fun and nice. ''

lunch cum dinner with baby at vivo. den mt. fabar. dinner cum supper with auntie and uncle. today ended real fast......

i'm super slack this wkend..

why cant the wkdays be 2days while the wkends be 5days......arghh. sch again. projs to be completed again. nv ending.....i cant wait for the holidays!!!

cat and jane thanx for everything.
i love muchu nai!!!!
gor thanx for ur concern.
hugs.

i cant be where and how i am without them.
they are my shoulders to cry on. they are my ears to hear mi out. they are my eyes to see where to go. they are my skin to feel the same as me.
i love them all.

Happy Belated Birthday my darling Jo! cant wait for u to be back in Nov. i miss u loads!!!

some ppl are juz so so direct. geez.

need some shopping!!

when will i see u again................

i dunno how to say. or behave.

2007-09-04T17:39:00.001+08:00

a day of everything.

freaking pissed with anyone and everyone.

nth's going well and rite.

no support. no love.

not happy with anything i say or heard.

and today's another nite of tonning and rushing of proj. maybe tml also.

i dun like where i am now.

the stage of comparison. the stage of being a 'nonsense' and 'annoyment'

the place of being noisy. the place of not being loved for.

i juz wanna get out of all these. be back at the 'rite place' where it was.

2007-09-02T00:05:00.001+08:00

finally got some time. lazy to put up photos but my dear frens wan to see them of coz.

the days are rather hectic. my post-bday chalet on 24th-26th aug was good. collected cupcakes with baby after a long turn-turn-turn. bbq with frens till quite late. after my clique went back. it was the boys and me. drinking while feeding on bbq-ed prawns and sambal sotong. shiok! there was a really late-comer who had us go prawning at a place where there's NO PRAWNS! baby, gor, goat and i were super pissed coz it was the wee hours and we din get any. well baby got 1 and tat's it. urmm no no..i got 1..ONE FISH in a PRAWN POND!!! duh. i was so happy at first when i felt the pull but when i took it out it started slapping on the floor which freaked mi out. hahaha. classic. headed back. gor slept while goat, baby and i walked to macs at the other side for breakfast at 5plus. freaking cold walking in the morning. slept at 830am. *snore*

in order not to waste time. we woke up at 2plus. headed for nt-so-nice-sushi lunch. went to theme park. and played carnival games. hahaha. three of us got so so addicted to the horse-racing game. nv bet on them. we lost to small kids! hahaha. well at least baby won mi a doggy in the shooting game. he's gd. *wink* hee. it was continuation to our card game at nite. with drinks, chips and wings. it was fun and gd. but was kinda terrible with gor's singing. hee. *oops* din wanna end the nite so early. time passes so fast in tat 3 days. finally headed to bed at 4plus. love the feeling of baby hugging mi to slp.

then on last day. it was checking out at 11am. lunching at WS. home by 1plus. i superbly miss him by my side.
---------------------------------------

the wk was spent with jer. he's super cute and funnie la. hee. "tortise u wanna eeeaattt...." hahahaha. baby saw him on mon said he's so cute and love his hair. haha. had rather cheap pasta with baby at IMM. their calamari was NICE! hee. yum yum. den special egg tarts. i feeel like a glutton these few days. *burp* hee.

fri was Chek Jawa field trip. it's been so long waking up at 5am and being in sch before 7am. the sky's still so dark. remembering the times when mummy will walk mi down to the bus-stop to wait for bus coz it was so dark and quiet. and cold. hahaha. it was a super long day for mi on fri. like we've done so much and it was onli wat. 9am? hahaha. but it was quite a gd experience for my 1st time at p.ubin. motion-sickness was nth la! hahaha. cleaned myself up coz i was sweaty and full of insect repellent. headed to meet baby. waited for him for an hr. cinemas were packed with sch students. like seriously PACKED! nv seen scene like tat. went to 4places. 4places were neg. decided to go comex fair. met uncle and gor there. lappie shopping for me. equip shopping for uncle. mouse shopping for gor. casing shopping for baby. dinner tog. den it was mi and baby. being a glutton like baby *oops* hee. we went to haf waffle choc fondue at suntec. it was yummy. baby love the waffles there. and they were so friendly. oh ya our tissues caught fire. so dumb. hahaha.

juz finish my work for mon. more more reflections and summaries to do. sian. poster presentation on thurs. i'm starting to haf difficulty breathing. help! the day to look forward next wk. sunday.

one went missing. one full of nonsense. one was lost. the other messed.
------------------------------------------

alrighty here are photos!

my 21st celebration a.k.a. Doom's Day with the extra teeth(acc to gor. haha)

170807 - dinner treat from baby at Hotel Rendevouz.
pumpkin soup. dim sum. sashimi. oysters. big crab. yum yum.
after eating the big crab. sambal crab we took was left untouched. haha.
it was super duper yummy! *slurp* hee.

while waiting.

170807 - girls hiding out at my place.
anticipating for my arrival. frantic look. hee.

yummy and pretty Strawberry Shortcake.

touched. with my red eyes and cheeks cutting my 1st bday cake.

my girls. nai, jane, gorg, cheryl and abby.
their SURPRISE caught mi. i love them all.
they are always there when i need them. esp nai, jane and gorg.
thanx for everything dears. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
ps (abby's car-bag. it's damn cute! cool! hee)

presents from the girls! awww...cards and spa and dining vouchers!
although those who cant be here. i thank u!
flowers. i love.
wonderful dessertsss! spot it with them well we're out. and told them i love it.
coz they're so pretty. and i HAD IT! woohoo!
shared it baby. coz they told mi too. hee. we heart the big strawberry macaroons!
mini macaroons we delicious tooo!!!
i'm addicted to macaroons now! *smiles*

1 more pic with them. groupies! hee.

and how can i celebration without my baby buns.
i love the pic. sweet! hee.
dumb look. i look retard. baby look cute! hee. naughty! haha.

first-ever so ex bday gift from mummy and daddy.

2nd prez they gave mi in my 21 yrs of life.
i love it so so much!
diamonds......

gift from my aunt and uncle. heartie!

gift from cuzzies. nice!

present from my dear. monkey card plus watch.
i love the watch!
leather.

screams airmail airmail!!!!
my cat flew in my present for me!
a jewellery box! love! the card was aww-so-touching.
i love all very much! thank u!!!!
ps(she juz had to spell my full name. duh)

180807 - and of coz bday dinner with baby and family.
i love my cake. hee. rich choc mousse in a heart from Bakerzin'
daddy had us take this pic. hee.

**********************************************

post bday chalet:

25 cuppies. colorful! hee. and taste uber-yummy toooo!
baby and gor were so into it. hahaa.

prawning place.
baby doing a 'model' pose. while gor making fun beside.
wat the hell tat looks like.
nibbling baby's nipples he say. hahahhaa.

baby and i having old-sch-retreat. icesticks.
good. sweet.

we did abby's bday surprise at the chalet.
happens to be her 20th.
i super wan this romantic thing man. candles laid out.
jane: now i noe where this idea came from. wahhahaa.

*******************************************

others:

donuts tat baby bought from indo. long time ago. hahaha. i still miss KK.

nai gave this to us. fruit treat from US.

***************************************

yes yes..sorrie peeps. loads of pics. hahaha. i dun haf time to upload and post them till now. from 12plus do till now almost 2am. so dumb. gonna go to bed. tml got more work to do den meet baby.

cheerios dearies!

thank u to allll!!! love all!!!

HUGS!

back to realistic life

2007-08-28T23:26:00.001+08:00

as much as the title says. it's back.

busy busy busy. many projs to complete. well seems to mi coz i've not been doing my summaries and reflections.

fun seems like over. work's back. hopefully to steer myself on track by this wk.

trip to sungei buloh was a disaster today coz of the rain. geez. more more more complains and whining to be done. now my legs are all 'war-bites'. nai's worse. damn poor thing. den had playtime with jerome. at least tat eases the day. and when i'm back hm. i wanna slack so much more but reality kicks in. so WORK WORK WORK!!!

i hate the feeling where the past 2wks was having hell loads of fun. den this wk i haf nth much to look forward to during the wkend. the feeling= sian.......booo. nvm shall look forward to hopefully a yr-end holiday.

back to work! much more to be said. loads of pics. ppl i've met. and known.

NEVER EVER judge a book by it's COVER.

in my eyes. i see things.

2007-08-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

loads of movie last wk. Rush Hour 3. Perfect Stranger. Bourne Ultimatum. Disturbia. oh and Hostel on HBO. which after cut-version i still scream and hid myself behind my cushion. i still dunno if i shld watch with dear......then Secret today. geez. but well catching them with someone special can nv be "oh enuf!!!"

last wk was mostly spent with dear. which was a very happy thing for mi. tried our addiction-lobster bisque. chill at dear's place. accompany him to bowl. the main thing was my bday and the wkend.

well this wkend's gonna be great too. well i hope. i wish. another relaxing wkend chalet with dear and frens. guess after this wk it's gonna be work work work le. cannot afford to slow and slack anymore. after chalet there'll be loads of pics to be on here. lazy to do it now.

some stuff are running and i cant seem to catch it. i've been rather evil lately. gotta stop myself. out-burst of pimples. well 3 of them. i kinda love tues although lecturer's "snore!" but i'm glad tat on tues i getta see all my girls. coz now split class le. so on tues is like a once in a wk gathering. hahaha. hmmm.

my mind seems so confused now i dunno y. like cannot rest like tat. tired. plus weather's like so so nice these few days i super wanna laze ard and not do anything.

i'll juz look forward to fri. nites spend with dear.

"if only u cld see....why did u leave me.....it's the keeping for the lonely since the day tat u've been gone....why did u leave me....."

happy 21st bday to me!

2007-08-18T23:52:00.000+08:00

i wanna blog this day again before it ends...

of coz after sch starts. some stuff happen. things were back to normal with sch. but lesser interest in the lessons now. coz i feel the other lects were betta. hmmm.

tok bout those later. the highlight of the day was my 21st. hee. all i can say is i love everybody ard mi. my baby, my frens and my family!!!

after the drama-play yday..met baby. did our stuff. had scrumptious dinner at Hotel Rendevouz. oysters, sashimi, crab, desserts......den suppose to go over to change faireen's batt. but manage to get a view at M.S. for the fireworks. it was fantastic! got baby's fav too. hee. gotten ourselves into trouble thru the traveling route. headed to meet uncle. den baby drove mi hm. he drove really slowly which i wondered why. den laze and chatted in the car for quite long. which usually baby will ask mi to go back and rest. and the weird thing was tat he ask if i wan him to come up with mi. hmmm. i was actually waiting for 12am to celebrate the 1st min with him. but i led myself up home. which when i opened my room door. a glimpse of light came from the corner of my room and then there was a soft starting of "happy birthday to u..happy birthday to u...." i couldnt help myself my tear. well cry like the girls say. hahaha. i was so so touched! i was super touched and surprised!!! it was super duper sweet of them. and of coz knowing tat i was tinking of all the things tat happen within the wk. jamie borrowing my hp. them having little small grp chats. bout yujie bleeding. jane so urgent to go to work. baby driving so slowly. hmm hahaha. they really surprised mi. well done girls! nai got it all on vid and photos. hahaha. super funnie. they got mi Strawberry Shortcake. very nice. den there was the Present Hunt. where i had to find 5 of my prezzies. hahaha. they got mi the super nice desserts from Gobi, flowers and spa vouchers!!! which i can go with baby!!!! weeee......

after a gd slp with faireen. i was awoken by several smses. with 1 of the sms by daddy. "darlin, happy birthday." i'll nv nv forget this.....it's the 1st time in 21years of my life tat daddy did smthing like tat. i was so so touched i cried like non-stop on my bed for tat 15-20mins. hahaha. and of coz also bro's wishes. headed to meet baby. had the long Gobi dessert on bus. quite a mess but i was super yummy. we heart the Strawberry Macaroon!!! i love them. batt for faireen. cabornara pie at Han's. walk walk. gor picked us up to collect my cake. fetched uncle hm. gor to inter-club. drove to Bishan Park for family dinner with baby. prezzie from cousins. angbao from grandparents and uncle. started dinner with loads of veges haha. was worried for baby. but he kinda liked it. hee he has changed for the betta. wahahha. den of coz pasta dinner. den sinful bday cake for dessert. wahaha. picked gor up and went for prata at Jalan Kayu.

quite a few ppl to thank. hmm let's try to list them out.

mummy and daddy: thanx for everything u gave mi in life. the 21yrs of my life. bringing mi up. thru the ups and downs. i dunno wat to say. juz 'thank u' means so much to me. i enjoy the prez and the treat tat u gave mi for this very special yr. i'll always remember..always keeping it.

my baby buns: as we can see the difference from last time and now. the thought ran thru my mind with ur bro said smthing bout when we first started out when i cried to him bout the conflicts with my family. and now u're invited to dinners and all. i'm so happy tat things are working out this way. and yes u told mi u are too. i'm soo soo happy. (he's so happy when daddy ask him to take photo tog. hee) thank u sweetie for the surprise plan with the girls. thank u for taking mi out for dinner. thank u also for the company all this wk. although there's always some doubt in mi i have about us. but i'm happy tat u're always telling mi to not gif up. i love u baby buns. i'll always do....

gor: thanx for ur prezzie. thanx for everything. ur nonsense bout mi. hahaa. thanx for being there when i need u. and till now when things are quite alright. although i'm 21 now i noe i'll always still be ur mei. thanx for ur wishes. the 4yrs plus of bro-sis relationship will always go on....thank u! hugs.

cat: my dear girl. i was so surprised tat u flew my prez in from aust. i love it. and the card/letter in it is so sweet. hugs. i'm waiting for u to be back again in nov. thanx for everything. hugs.

jane: ling-mei! i cant thank u enuf for the surprise party. and for always being there hearing mi nagging bout stuff. i noe i can be annoying at times. haha. being tog thru ups, downs and projs. the love and support is tremendous to mi. thanx for the prezzie. esp knowing tat fai and i love the spa we had last yr. i love u. hugs.

nai: hey muchu! hee. i love the line where u say tat u always love the laughter i'll bring to u. hee. i love to make ppl happy and smile. tat's y i had a smiley face on my name-tag remember. hee. from being uncomfortable about stuff till now being able to spill things out to u. i'm glad u're by my side and always giving the love and concern i need. well we all need. now going thru the next 2yrs of life tog. sch and life. we'll always be there for each other rite? thank u so much for everything. i love u! hugs.

jing: gorg. i'm so happy when u made mi special by saying tat the whole day for today i'll be the 1st 'gorgeous'. hee. hugs. i'm glad we became so much closer and hearing each other's stuff out. girl juz let u noe tat i really do appreciate u listening to me. u'll always be a fren to mi. hugs. love u!

abby, cheryl, jamie, shitty aishah, aishah, yujie, jiahui, dap, joey, drizzle, (i cant remember who else..): thanx so much for the prezzie and wishes. jamie i'll get back at u when i go to sch hahaa. it was really nice to see abby and cheryl after so long. i miss u guys. shitty! hee. for ur nonsense and love. i love u! hahaha. heard joey got mi a special prezzie. hee. thank u to all!!!

mich: thank u so much for ur wishes. and knowing tat u wanted to send mi a prezzie from aust. appreciate tat. we toked so much. i'm happy tat we're comfy in pouring out things to each other. i miss u already. u noe i'm always here for u rite dear? hugs. take care k.

jo: jolene mok!!! missing u loads la!!! i havent seen u for like how long!!! this girl left mi a note saying tat i'm 21 le so can watch porn flicks le. hahahaha. she's my crazy as ever darling la. hahaha. i cant wait for u to be back in nov. (i tink all will be back in nov wahhaa) till i see u again......i miss u like crazy.....!!! muack!

aloy, stanley di, owen, law, (cant remember who else..): thanx for all ur wishes. i'm so glad tat u guys still remember my bday. hee. huggies!!!

but hor......some ppl forget lo.....like close ones. pal..kok...booo.....!!! hahaha.

i'm so so happy this 21st. it's really special. as can see this is a long long entry. will write more with more pics. hee. LOVE U ALL!!!

loads of pics to be up later.

alittle bit of joy

2007-08-14T00:29:00.000+08:00

my baby bun's bacK! woohooo! la la la la. was waiting for his sms on sun nite. "baby i'm back! hee" hahaha i called him straight when i got the sms. it's really funnie how gor and baby shared the overseas card and sms to peeps. i'm glad tat baby sms-es mi everyday. *smiles*

class started again today. not too bad of a start. things will sure be 'forced' to pick up. haha boo. yawn. but well. a long 8wks till long break.

i'm jealous to see ppl flying all over the world. while i'm here. i wish i had the money and things to do and buy.

met baby, goat and gor after sch. a straight big muack for baby after not seeing him for a wk. "Rush Hour 3". hilarious show. love chris tucker. hahaha. uper funnie. den dinner at Chijmes. while i was enjoying my food. the 3guys were jealous coz theirs was kinda not-so-nice. really funnie when 3 of them come trying and tasting my baked seafood. baby's studying at goat. while gor and i shared cab hm. some discussion on food and transportation of mj-table and us on chalet day. hmmmm.

oh and when i got back hm. i got this big box waiting for mi. i got a prezzie from my dear cat!!!! alicia taong!!! *huggies* hee. my sweet fren flew my prez from aussie. hee. took the pic. shall put up with the rest of my prezzies. and girl it's not true tat i'll haf a happy party even without u ard. u gotta make up for it when u're back lo! hee. i'll miss u at the party! *hugs*

aunt and uncle got mi a gift too. heart necklace. while mummy and daddy bought mine tooo! they brought mi to choose and decided on. hee. uper expensive i'd say. ching-ching-ching-ching. (count) i heart them! shall put them up with the rest too!

decision on cake. decision on food. decision on ppl. decision on cuppies.

baby's bringing mi for dinner on fri.
dinner with family and baby on sat.
lunching with the girls on sun.

i'm loving this wkend. hee.

cant wait for class to be over this wk. hee.

*4 more days to 21st*

jane say this was a dream-list instead of a wish-list. hahahhaa. but i seriously dunno wat i wan for now. hahaha.

things i wan:
*tiff & co
*new clothes (for now: a black dress-shorts at Pull and Bear)
*watch
*jeans
*new laptop
*spas and massages
*holiday
*a hotel stay at Sentosa (with rose petal spa, romantic dinner)
*dinner @ Equinox
*dinner @ The Cliff Sentosa
*dinner @ il-lido Sentosa
*Cruise
*Stay at Fullerton
**last but not least my dear..**

u're my baby buns.

2007-08-10T16:52:00.000+08:00

finally packed my room. well i wun say neatly packed coz my rooms has no space to put my textbks which WILL INCREASE in a wk's time. geez. finally filed (clipped) my notes tog. stack them up. books are stacked on floor coz dunno where to put. haha. reading thru the assignment sheets for next wk. damn. a wk of supposingly a well-earned holiday aint really a hol to me. urmm well it IS a HOLIDAY coz i've slacked and watched vcds and stuff. but it's like missing smthing. not smthing but someone. duh. who else. haha

cruise dinner was ok onli. not was we expected. swaying cruise ship due to the tides. but i'd say the view of the fireworks was great. took some pics on baby's hp but dunno how to transfer using this phone. wait for him to be back. not smthing i'll go back for. but boarding it has made mi determined to go for a cruise trip at the end of the yr. coz baby and i have been discussing bout it for like wat. urmm 3yrs? when we're not tog till we're tog. how great. well yearning for a holiday trip pretty plz.....*stares*

the wkend's here! wee. had a terrible dream last nite. hate it man. wkend's here means gd food at ah ma's and my sweetie's coming home! hahaha. but hmm tat means sch's starting on mon again. *deng deng deng deeeennng!* boo. sleepless late nites are about to come back.

2 more days till baby's back!
2 more days till holidays end....
8 more days till my 21st!

missing u baby buns!

things i wan:
*tiff & co
*new clothes (for now: a black dress-shorts at Pull and Bear)
*watch
*jeans
*new laptop
*spas and massages
*holiday
*a hotel stay at Sentosa (with rose petal spa, romantic dinner)
*dinner @ Equinox
*dinner @ The Cliff Sentosa
*dinner @ il-lido Sentosa
*Cruise
*Stay at Fullerton
**last but not least my dear..**

(i wanted to write smthing but i cant remember wat it is...)

2007-08-09T12:57:00.000+08:00

yday was fun. felt like cld breathe much more.

everybody missed everybody. i guess it's coz we went thru so much in our projs and our lives. and now tat after the 6wks we onli 'gather' on tues. split class. we'll miss each other's nonsense much more.

boardgaming with jing, jane, jamie, nai and aishah at Boat Quay. loads of fun with the games we play. "ugly ugly ugly.." and the dares we had. so dumb. i had to ask the waitress if i cld change a bone for a free drink, aishah and nai had to make a table of ppl look up at the ceiling, nai had to spend 3mins reading smthing and go "orh!!!" very loud and aishah had to offer to help the ppl there clean the tables. haha. loads of laughter. it was cool. den later it was jing, nai and me left having dinner at coffee.c. much toking. bout mi tinking time passes slow this wk, jing tinking it passes fast and while no feeling coz she's sick on medication. hahaha. much of life toking. headed hm with nai. chit-chatted. like she say i guess we're all glad tat we're close gd frens and all in thru the diffi part of deg tog. hugs. walked my way hm. alone this time. seen many ppl with luagges. made mi tink of baby. all i cld do was to sms him. my feelings and my thots for him.

baby said tat he experienced a minor earthquake there. gor and him din qualify so it's more and more shopping for them. humph! not fair! it's till sun! boooo. was kinda down but seeing his reply to my email cheered mi up loads. which uncontrobally drop a tear. well maybe 2. tat's all (frens dun hit me k. hahaha. i'm fine....)

cruise dinner tonite. with an overview of fireworks. weee! hee.

3days till he's back
3days till holiday end

I'm going to throw myself to gif him a huge big hug when i see him.

beany's taking care of faireen. haha. tat's funnie. it's our toys.

i gotta do smthing with myself. pick myself up from my lousy holiday.

missing u dear!

2007-08-08T00:23:00.003+08:00

i did something awfully stupid juz now tat reminded myself of the past. which made a scrunch in my heart again. silly mi. my girls will sure beat mi if they noe wat i did. i was bored la.....

den watched a show. and the person turned psychotic. which the real actress name was the wrong i did. hahaha. tinking bout it was hilarious. oops.

did nth much today. vcds. rotting. and picking my cakes and names.

talked to cat. and found out wat kinda cake i shld haf. and there's 2. since first is with my family and den later at the chalet. den decided on wat i wan for chalet since it's a post-bday thing. hmm juz hope i get a reply soon so tat i can confirm. den as for the day itself. i got a few in mind. i wanted smthing sweet, pretty, choc-y or strawberry-y. (besides baby pink plz...) haha any suggestions? came up with either "awfullychocolate"'s choc rum and cherries, or the few i wan from Bakerzin. hmmm. shall discuss with baby when he gets back.

another day's over! and i've not completed any stuff. coz i feel so lazy and restless. all my energy has been stuff with the word "dear".....hahaha. bleah. oh well. so glad i'll be hanging out with the girls later. they are so so encouraging. to get mi outta hse tat is. so tat time can pass faster and i can stop tinking bout baby for once. hahahhaa. bleah. weeee.

poor baby's thumb skin tear again. he juz bowled like wat 2days? hope it gets ok after the med sweetie. hugs. oh and he had scrumptious seafood for dinner. he ate smthing he say he wun eat. which i'm so so against as it has the word 'baby' in it. it's like super poor thing la!!! it's a huge fish. tat's the hint. shhhh.

4more days till he's back.
4more days till end of hols.

missing u baby. i love you.

muack!

lonely holiday week

2007-08-06T17:43:00.000+08:00

the wk's over. a new beginning. holiday.

daddy's buying mi a bday gift! an un-exchangable and sentimental gift he say. haha. he had mi choose wat i wan. there's a few choices so i gotta decide. hee. it's kinda the 1st time he's getting mi such stuff. except on 18th bday when he got mi mp3. hahaha. let's wait.....

wat i was hoping for happened. although i felt very selfish. but it wun happen again. * i promise baby* managed to spend the whole day with baby yday. was waiting and wasting time away coz baby din noe if he had to go his grandparents place. while i kept hoping there will be no news. haha. i'm so evil. *sorry* had loads of junk-food of coz. haha. had the donuts tat baby tinks they shld change their slogan. hahaha. but we both felt it's super D.F. but well he still insisted, "it's not bad..but ah they shld change their name.." hahaha. he's funnie. waiting for my K.K. when he gets back! sudden craving for O.C.K. den baby spotted a familiar plastic bag when we wanted to get icecream. korean bbq!!! hahaha. the drama began the last part of the day when he send mi hm. i couldnt help but tinking tat he'll be at another country for this whole wk. so well. cried buckets. crazy girl rite? hahaa. his hugs and "take care k baby" made it worse coz i noe i wun be getting them for the whole wk. *i love u baby despite everything..*

i'm gonna slacked my whole day off today. baby juz flew off an hr plus ago. and when he called to say he's boarding i cried hell in the toilet again. and the moment i put down the phone i cut my thigh on smth. haha. so stupid. so much for his "muz take care of uself k baby.." hahaha. bleah. cant control myself. silly mi. well gonna laze. den hopefully be awake to pack my room tml. do wksheet on wed. and vcds and more vcds. hee. cant wait till thurs where i'll haf a dinner cruise overlooking fireworks like my uncle say. hee. and when it's thurs it means......a few more days till baby's back!!!! woohoo! cant wait cant wait..ahhhh..

6more days till baby's back by my side.
6more days till holiday's over.
12 more days till my 21st.

i miss u so.

coz u're leaving on a jetplane.
i'll onli see u in a wk again.
oh baby, i hate to let u go..
i'm missing u already sweetie pie......

huggies and kizzes!

*sorry if u peeps tink it's disgusting* (he might be reading this from there. hee)

1 more k..i more thing to gross u peeps out...juz 1 more.....bear with mi..hee..
'
'
'
'
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I LOVE YOU DEAR!!!

2007-08-04T15:49:00.001+08:00

time to write smth.

the wk's almost over. a whole wk of ups and downs. been crying way too much lately. haha. about life. about the departure of lecturers. plus a wk which is coincidently my wk of holiday without baby. makes the mood worse. oh well. life's a rollercoaster.

ok let's talk about baby 1st. has been hanging out with him quite alot this wk. coz of my 'free-er' schedule. caught 'The Simpsons' with baby on wed. quite a dumb but funnie and entertaining show. tag along while he funbowl-ed. won 2nd. with the sacrifice of his skin tearing *ouch* 'Knocked Up' yday. the show's alright. a record breaking of coffee.c's dinner in there. haha. den headed hm in uncle's car. a couple of sparkles. but well i guess nth's smooth sailing. we juz gotta hang in and hang on to wat we believe. coz i noe we're strong. like he say if there's chance to do smthing u wan. juz go ahead.

sch's off! the wk has been rather slack. coz our stuff are quite alright and therefore onli abit of changes here and there. plus props and rehersals. and the HUGE HAIRY caterpillar tat was bugging us at our table. and on fariz's head. it freaked all of us out man. the biggest presentation this wk was dramatization. i tot it went really well and everybody's performance was so gd too. the kids were enjoying and participating! they're really really adorable. hee.

sch's a rather big part of mi for the past 6wks. with the 2 lecturers from Boston. like nai say their teaching methods are so different from local tat most of us enjoyed it and knowing tat they going off this wk juz saddens most of us. grades doesnt really matter. it's the process we're learning from. many of us cried on thurs after the last class of susan's. she was nice to give each of us an individual hug. and shah caught mi crying in her arms on her phone. haha. bleah.

yday was a huge big learning day for me. loads of emotions and thoughts surrounded my mind. a very impactful talk shocked and touched me from the moment he spoke. it was a guest speaker who had cerebral palsy. for those who dun noe it's a illness which is due to the wiring of the brain resulting stiffness in limbs. disabilities was smthing we have learnt thru our dips and now in degs. about special ed and about special needs chn. he touched many of us when he spoke the part about how he manage to go thru with his life, his families and ppl around him. "if you tink your life's hard..try thinking about mine..", " i have to fight and live on for my family.." these 2 sentences made my warm tears roll down uncontrollably. the description on how he wans so hard to be independent and how his relationship with others are not purely rltnships but wanting to have a support in case he needs help. ok i might be talking too much here but it's all true. a true real-life example tat touched my heart and made mi reflect on things i've done in my life. i'm rather determined to help chn who have no voice to speak their mind.

plus after all our presentation yday. it was the vid for feli. her speech touched us too. her lessons are fun with all the questions and politics that we dare not question or face about our society which have an impact on chn with special needs. her 'y'all', 'yay!', 'juz checking' and 'dance' we'll all miss. another thing tat made my eye sore MORE was when she gatherd us in a circle. went ard to and saying tat she'll nv leave us because she felt very strong and powerful about each of us and our abilities. she also pronounce and recall all and each of our names infront of us.sang a malay song to us. (she's from Boston. tat touched me) i cant remember the title but it's a song from a mother to her child. aww. it was super duper sweet. i'm sad tat i din send her off. but i noe i'll see her in Boston next yr. well both of them. they have made me learnt alot and really grow as a person somehow.

finally a wk break from sch. phew. it's been a draining tiring 6wks. great time now. i guess i'll be packing my room coz it's now piled up with notes and book. swim and work out i hope. haha. catch up on slp, tv and vcds. hee. and well maybe hang out with the girls at jamie's jacuzzi. hee. a wk i haf on my own.

daddy's bringing mi out to buy smthing for me later. hee. den tml will be spending time with baby before he goes off.

ok tinking about my bday in 2wks. hmm ppl has been asking wat i wan of coz. and gor already made the 1st move but giving mi my prez without mi asking. haha. i cant really tink of wat i wan. i juz searched for my whole wishlist. and urmm well here are the some changes. hee.

things i wan:
*tiff & co
*new clothes
*watch
*jeans
*new laptop
*spas and massages
*holiday
*a hotel stay at Sentosa (with rose petal spa, romantic dinner)
*dinner @ Equinox
*dinner @ The Cliff Sentosa
*dinner @ il-lido Sentosa
*Cruise
*Stay at Fullerton
**last but not least my dear..**

i guess it's 21st. so ppl be creative hahaha. these are juz some of the things i'm tinking now. i really cant tink of WHAT i WANT. hmm.

2007-08-03T00:05:00.000+08:00

a mixed feeling today. happy. relief. sad. down. hmmm.

more will be written bout later or sat.

let's juz pray for those who lost their lives or were injured during the collapse of the US Bridge.

17hrs to end of sch.
3more days to he's gone.

2007-07-30T00:38:00.000+08:00

end of a tiring wk. another wk to start. 1 more to go......

the wk was spent with sessions of sandwiches, macs, da-baoed food. breaks of 12-2pm doing proj. after sch of 6-watever time tat is doing proj. the whoooole wk's like tat. like nai say. tink we've all sunken in this wk. lost wt. girls stayed over on tues. din finish still. thurs nite chiong till 2am at macs. the wk of experiencing being chased outta sch coz it's late at 11pm. and going hm at 2am coz we continue our work at macs. took cab back tat late at nite coz of sch. geez. we're all so so worn out till we 'made-up' some of our slping time on fri nite. nai and me agreed it was damn shiok!!! hahhaa. jamie screamed with mi on fri at 5pm. "it's friday! it's overrr..!" hahaha.

finally met baby on fri. after the whole wk of madness in sch. dinner teppanyaki with gor, goat, baby and annur. yummylicious. but well kinda ex. "baby....when are we going hilltop's??" hee. den walked. chijmes. i was practically lying on baby's shoulders coz i was damn tired. superb.

sat. aishah's 21st bday party at my place. nai and mi helped her with deco. and pumping of tat balloons. woohoo! hahahaha. great nite. din really haf greeny stuff for mi until i remembered i got green sandals tat baby and i had. haha. "baby..i got accepted le leh..." so so not wanting this call......my heart shrunk. but i held on. glad tat baby came. had a little tok. managed to hold myself till he's gone. burst out tears. splitter and splatter. i dunno how to handle this. he dun understand my pt. i dun understand his. not tat i dun wanna be supportive. but if he's gone. one will not be happy. if he stays. one will not be happy too. hai......had a great chat with gorg, jane, shah and nai. long time no tok like tat. haha. gossips and complains. oh well.

sun. waited baby for damn.....long. he made it thru 1st interview. now waiting for 2nd. although i dun wan him to go. but i dunno why i'm helping him so much. first was with his resume. i re-do it for him. den i helped him phrase his sentence for application form. i was telling him den i pause and asked him why am i helping him so much ah.....hai..well well. i'm so not looking forward. 5yrs. somethings really need to be soughted out. dinner den went to baby's place. auntie loves the eclair. haha. hmmm. headache man.

oh and i juz remember. uncle and auntie met mummy and daddy. hahahaha. in a weird situation. at the carpark at my place. with uncle horning at daddy. whahaha. geez.

another wk of torture. 2 reflections. 1 big dramatization. 1 lesson plan. and more meetings of baby this wk. alone time i wan. esp on sunday.

bump into pal on fri too. he's so much skinner with a botak head. haha. see if can meet up next sat.

cheers to all!

direction.

2007-07-24T00:09:00.001+08:00

a feeling of getting used to. the feeling tat i got back on being efficient. tat was the feel i got when we rushed our proj tog in sch juz now. hahaha. we..plus other some other grps got chased at of sch juz before 11pm coz the s.guards are going off. hahhaa. well. we did finish our work for tml. so glad. like jamie say. so glad tat we're in this all tog. tat's wat grpmates/frens are for man.....hugs! and of coz. i was in my daze for the whole day till 4pm today. haha. felt the "soul outta body" feeling. nv really had such feeling till today. whole body not feeling comfy. but of coz my sould came back juz at the rite time for our presentation. and yes. i'm so so glad we did well. well. gd enuf i guess. hee. 1 part down. 1 part more to go.

few more proj this wk. after this wk. i'll be half-way till i can breathe. super cant wait for friday. hee. wkends here. plus baby.

"Invisible Target" with baby, kambing and gor on sun. after much food shopping. hee. we started the show with a SNORE. the guy sitting behind us SNORED juz as the show started. -_-" wat the heck. show was quite interested. as expected loads of actions plus drama-mama i tot. haha. i was constantly laughing at their expression. and of coz phrase for the day. "dun be so anal.."(it was the wrong subtitle) hahahhaa..the boys kept laughing. and gor had to emphasized tat it was so so r21. while goat said tat it's his new word. "why u so anal ah.." diao. haha. and yea! baby send mi hm.....la la la la. hahaha. ok. bleah. i juz love the feeling of him walking mi hm. haha. lovely and safe. ok gross out rite? bleah "baby, i like u to walk mi hm....." "i like u to send mi hm too...." hahahaa. we are 2 funnie ppl trying to get each other to do smth. haha.

cat's back in aust. *see u in nov!*

my mind's on my projs and stuff to complete. but my heart's not onli with him but with my day toooo. whahahhaa.

2more wks till boredom and lonely.
2more wks till happiness and freedom.
2 more wks till seperation.

p.s. i'm glad tat it's worked out. at least btwn both of u. coz i mean no harm at all. it's juz trouble tat always spells upon me. some rubbish.

rewind. rest. boom!

2007-07-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

The 'GREEN' Day

aww...

kisses...

puff puff. heart 'em.

our 3 siao-ting-tong(s).

the signature move. if u noe who. hahaha.

seriously drained. assignments.

next wk. 4days of sch. 7 sets to do. including a 8pages drama reflection. how great. all of us are so so messed up. so so tired. so so drained. tat we drag ourselves to sch. perk ourselves up by our crappiness and nonsense. i irritated all with my I.I.T. and crap. jamie irritate all by her songs, rubbish and screechy voice. jane irritate all by being messed up and blur at times. and her neh-mind (nvm in singlish) became neh- brain (suppose to point to her breast) and mind- breast (suppose to point to her brain) so we all laughed at her having her breast as her brain. hahahhaa. shhhh. well much more. all us worn out.

2 retards. she's my conscience. hahhaa.

plus today's sat. having drama rehearse at 6pm in SCHOOL!!! for now scheduled mon and tues stayover at my place. complete projs. gosh. super no life.
last time go hm. slack. wash tv. paint nails.
now. go hm. on lappie do work. at times side-track to net. like now. duh. till bout 1am. den snore. den next day back to sch or proj typing. nails are rotting in colors and still havent take them out.
-------------------------------------
off day on wed was called to do proj at N.L. we did our proj under our umbrella. pic will be on later. haha. "Vacancy" with baby. show's gd but ending's so crap. hahhaa. dinner fish and chips at FisherWharf. (if i din spell wrongly hee..) and i send baby hm again.......haha..to get my Krispy Kreme!! haha. uncle bought it from HK. weeee. and they are MARVELOUS! serious. i love the plain sugar ones and strawberry shortcake! muack! hee.

HUGE fish & chips.

KK from HK. with my big name on it. haha.

love the plain. and strawberry shortcake! yummi-licious!!

like someone say..now after sch it's not "hey where are u going?".....it's "hey so where are we gonna do our proj" hahaha. see the diff? rushed down to meet cat and cg at esplanade. jap food. den max brenner's sucko (correct?) and truffle. truffle's superb! pics gotta wait. den met baby after work. hm tog in uncle's car. gor's gonna make time for chalet. auntie might order otah-otah for my bday. uncle might buy hse at my place. wah. it's like "WOAH" hahahhaa. chalet--thanx gor! otah---auntie's so nice. i'm so so happY! haha. hse---urmm i dunno if it's true. but sounds consideration's in process. hahaha. it's kinda weird but am looking forward!

time passes. cat's going off on mon. mich's already there. jo's STILL there. hahhaa. pal's gone in for a wk already. 2more wks till baby flies. wah. it's so so overwhelming man. this this this and that that that. phew. sometimes cant breathe.

the hug to cat was like before. sad and din wanna let go. but we had fun.

the long pic. of us going prawning. goat and prawns. gd combi?? hmm.

bbq-ing prawns.

looking forward to dear on sun.

cheez!

jia you all!

2007-07-17T21:45:00.002+08:00

i'm kinda glad tat the wkend passes fast! weee..it's gonna be wed in a few hrs time...means i getta see baby!!!

loads of deadline for proj coming in. gosh. work hard!!! 2 more wks!!!

headed to 'riding sch' (juz like jamie called it..hahaha) today. long long pissed off journey there. aint a gd day today huh. hmmm. so very impressed with how things work there. using horse to provide physical and emotional theraphy to kids with special needs. visit was so fulfilling. and i hope i'll someday volunteer there. they need to be recognised man!
today a day of EATING. had ding tai feng with mates. gosh! hee. jane and i was so damn crazy. (coz we love it of coz...) tat jamie tinks we're nuts. hahaha. den headed for yummy warm dessert. had it previously at chinatown. slurp. and since the weather is darn hot. we "accidently" picked up icecream to indulge on the way to class. wahhahaa. full full!!!

wk of proj. krispy kreme along the way tml! by uncle from hk! woohoo!!! hee. (jo i STILL WANT those from aussie k!)

BIG HELLO to stupid per.

at least the wkend seeing him.

2007-07-16T00:57:00.000+08:00

forced myself to finish up work by sat nite. den abit on sun morning. otherwise i wun haf time.

had dinner with gor on fri. it's been a long long time since we haf dinner tog. haha. well. suppose to do readings but realised i brought wrong notes. so walked my way thru'out the 2hrs plus alone. waited for dear to finish work. i wonder if dear's parents are serious buying a hse at my place. hmmmm.

sat. was full of food and more sweet food! met dear to collect the chewy-stuff. urmm kinda more like cream puff (i'd say thanx to gor..and sya) i tink it's quite gd. but dear din like it. went to peek at D.F. queue at suntec. it was short! 3 of us queued for dounts for urmm 30-45min? yep yep. den headed to get duck. brought all these to ah ma's hse. duck extra ingredient for dinner. donuts and chewy-cremmie for dessert. and they all love it. yippie!

sun. met dear at like 5plus. coz he was darn lazy on bed. but it's true hardly a day tat he can rest and laze. dinner plus tauhui. both of us were super duper bloated tat the next food we see we'll puke kinda feeling. oh well. time passes.

the wk's over so soon. i'm glad all the hassle and trouble of booking chalet is done. the wk after tat is. bday's gonna be juz hangin out. oh ya list to be up soon. i noe i've said it for damn long. hahaha. nth much to look forward to.

expect's gotta be low. silent mode.

-i hope pal's mum op is fine and successful. and she's recovering and in gd health soon.
-i hope mich's getting used to hostel and life in aust.
-i hope some tensions get resolved.

-i'm glad tat everyone's on my side now. tat even mummy ask if dear was coming over.
-i'm glad for sometimes having a brain of my own.

ta-da. love peeps.

without a warning.

2007-07-12T22:33:00.001+08:00

wk was gd at first but now's not. boo. a load of projs and assignments has bomb-ed us again.....after the piece of 'good news' tat CR wasnt needed tml. now more to come. geez. cant imagine the wks to come. sad. wk's gonna be burnt again.

made a surprise attempt to meet baby on mon. goat suggested buffet. 3-for-2. so yes. buffet dinner. hahaha. full full. and cost cost. hahhaa.

kinda chill-ed on tues. din wanna do any work.plus the cancellation on CR. hee so so happy. borrowed vcds. it's been ages since i've borrowed. plus watching it with baby seems long gone......"becoz i said so" is a very nice show. "human trafficing" was a long, sensible show. gave mi lots of thots after the show. lots of anger and sadness too. on how a human can do such things. 'transporting' girls to prostitution, slavery, porn sites....blah blah blah. and even young girls for child porn. gosh. i'm damn shocked by it. and the parts tat impacted me was when the lady did anything juz to save her daughter. wat and how the police officer gone thru during her young days too. and wat a father saw being done to her daughter on tv. he puked. who wouldnt. it's really disgusting and crazy. the last part also gave mi an inside. saying tat there wouldnt be this kinda 'jobs' if there were no needs for it. it's becoz there's a demand for it and it's a way one can earn money tat's y it happens. which is so so true!!! talk bout human rights.

studied with baby on wed. watched "DIE HARD 4" with baby. wonderful show. we enjoyed it so much with the extra 'sound effect' from the side. the screeching and loads of comments. hahaha. day passes real fast. headed for dinner at chijmes. we've been freaking visiting there so so often. gosh. need a change of place and lifestyle. hahaha. la la la la. i send baby hm. hahahaha.

am kinda tired......yearning for a gd wkend.

pal's leaving tml. by pal. wun see u in 2wks plus. hope u take care of urself. will miss u.

mich's leaving on sat. michie mich. i'll miss u 2. all the things tat have come on. i really hope u take care of urself. and be safe there.

hugs.

2007-07-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

the wkend come and go. like a breeze. esp when u're busy. the sign of fri juz blows ur mind off. juz make u so so happy and eager to the wkend's prog.
the moment knowing tat class's over at 5pm. juz shreaks "yippie!!!" the whole mood juz lift up by 50%.

now it's over. boohoo.

wed: "Transformers" with baby. gd show. peeing was said as 'lubricating' in the show. kinda funnie. as it's an action plus comedy with machines. when 'lubricating' on the machine. they'll rust. hahaha. dinner duck. chijmes treat by kambing.

fri: met mich, tiac, chiew pang and audrey. new fren. like mich say weird combi. but well we had fun. making fun of pal and chit-chatting. dinner at ajisen. dessert at gelare. while waiting for baby to finish work. uncle bought himself and baby hp. he got new hp now. and he also go his new stuff a screen-protector. when we bought our hp. we've been saying of getting till a yr later we havent go it. now his new hp has the next day he got the hp. *jealous* ---i'm number 2 now.....boo.

sun: the day i've been waiting. mani and pedi with jane and mich. aint tat gd. but was alright. mich i promise to bring u to the 'shiok' 1 when u're back k. i super wanna go there tooooo. hee. baby like the color. *happy* lunch with mich. i gobble up the so-creamy-cheesy-potato gratin while chit-chatting with mich. kinda 1 of the longest 'talk' we had. i tot it was gd. den did my stuff while waiting for baby to finish sch. almost shisha-ed. steamboat dinner. freaking hot and sweaty. chijmes. headed hm in heavy pour. i'm worn out now.

i wonder how this wk will be. sadness. rush-ness. stress-ness. sadness coz mich's flying off on sat. and pal's becoming a 'man' like he say on fri. it seems kinda fast. plus some time spending with mummy. 1mth bday coming up on thurs. our day postponed to wed. proj due on fri. reflections due too. gosh....how to complete. this means late late nites. duh. getting use to it. but hate it. it's a drag at times.

mon: sch, 14mths, meet mummy.
tues: impact reflect due.
wed: library seminar. meet baby.
thurs: proj impact discussion. cousin's baby 1mth bday.
fri: proj impact discussion. Lta reflect due. CRP & UDL proj due. pal's going in.
sat: mich's flying off. baby's interview.
sun: hope can meet baby.

my wk's like packed. damn. geez. hope hope hope can meet pal and mich 1 more time before they are off. plzzzz.......

bday stuff kinda decided. onli some arrangements and decision-making. will update soon. hope to book by this wkend. cant wait for it. coz it means the wk tat baby wun be in will be over. list will be up soon. otherwise jane will say she's gonna buy mi things from 'value-shop'.

chaoz.

days of my life.

2007-07-04T11:24:00.001+08:00

have not been writing coz am damn packed with signments.....damn! super no life. but well. sch is still sch. lesson are interesting and fun but assignment's NOT!!! it's draining all our strength and sleep OUT!!! u can see from my random post.

managed to get quite a gd early slp last nite. distracted myself with tv coz it feels like a long time since i've watched. left my work till this mrning. bleah. in this entry. there'll be my days spent. some feelings i've been having. gd or bad.

27/6: facial @ wheelock. eye-treatment feels damn shiok esp after late nites. met cat FINALLY. sushi. walked ard. spore's kinda boring noe......tcc. den picked dear up from work.

29/6: so so so glad and relieved seeing dear after sch. i really dunno why. maybe coz it's fri and seeing him made mi relax and happy! hahhaa. eyebrow. crab at food festival. more crab soon k?? hee. Jap at suntec new foodcourt. waiting loooong. a day where many happy instances happened. it's also a day where bad news happened. learn to let go. learn to compromise.

30/6: headed to vivo to realise tat the top i wan did not have my size anymore!!! arghh. i need to SHOP SHOP SHOP!!! went down National Stadium with dear, gor, father, clara and hoyun. met cat. couldnt find aisha at all. hahahha. it was fun at the closing ceremony. the matches. band. special moments. march. song. fireworks. company. onli thing is tat it's damn HOT!!! dear and i were all so sticky and yucky. hahaha. and so we skipped the after-party. prata before heading home. i love the feeling. there was a 'shrink' of my heart when I saw. but oh well. it's smthing i'll have to face if it's long-term. so i'll strongly face it. "no matter wat, i'll nv change my perspective of *. i hate *" (some names are left out. feel in urself) i'm glad baby understand.

Spore ex Vs Msia ex

band. nice.

at all smiles.

lighted torch. look at the crowd.

Spore Vs Aust.

1st impression: Who is this boy?

goes everywhere with his camera. snaps. and his reaction when hoyun "yooouu-hoo" him.
adorable!

with much encouragement from his dad. he posed for us. clara and I went crazy!!! hee.
he's so so cute and handsome!

friends in the making. friends with flags.

'land and I. we made frens. and there was a commotion of everyone wanting to take pics with him after mi and clara started. hahaha.

team spore march-past. spot baby? hahaha.

fireworks to close. nice. love the heart onesss!! hee.

1/7: Happy Birthday Mummy!!! the day of rushing work. wedding dinner. nth much. i'm really wondering why things happen and happen again.

my days are rather fulfilling. tired though. but happening. hmmm. well there's a couple of stuff. a couple of intensive talks. "at his age it's fine for him to do those things, juz gotta let go", "juz be glad tat he's yours. tat u guys are tog", "it's coz i care and worry for u". it's a step i gotta talk. it all the busy schedules i have. i can slowly let go. juz a mental tot in mi tat kept mi going. he's quite supportive. so i'm glad.
it's kinda scary and worrying that things can be so vulnerable. one moment it's happy and ever. the other moment one might not 'be bothered' and be 'cruel' with the other. this example made mi thinking real hard. made mi worry too. can it last? each has it's own view. time? habits? personality? stubborn? oh well. it's juz moments when sometimes we know the truth or know how the person is like but we still fall for it. we still wanna 'hide' in the wonderland. den when reality strikes. we regret. well not regret. but we blame ourselves for being strong-headed. a moment when one lose the support of another. the feeling of lost i understand. it's the emptiness. the one u used to talk to is no more on relation to u. u have no reason to call. no 'identity' to call. it's depressing i noe. it scares me imagining if such things happen to me. how lost. how sad. how desperate i might be.
cherish wat u have in the moment. cherish the present. love the one who is WITH YOU.

wed's kinda my fav day now. haha. coz it's our new 'meeting' day!!! cant wait for tat piggy to get up. cant wait for our date. movies. looking forward to pedi this sun. with jane and mich. it's FINALLY HERE!!! wat i've been waiting for.....a gd gd scrub and paint. hahahhaa. la la la.

some other pics from clara and grad pics finally from cheryl will be up next.

love all!

2007-06-29T00:46:00.000+08:00

mi blogging at this time.
means nth very gd.
we're all stressed out by the number of work given in the deg. yes it's a deg tat's y. tat's wat all parents say........yawn.

mon: 1page Statement of Purpose
a set of 65 quez sheet
readingssss
(handed in on thursday)

tues: 3pages of Critical Reflection
2pages of ed. autobiog
readingssss
(handed in on friday)

now we noe why we've gotten wed off. but it aint really use to me. i'm finally done. going to snore-snore land now. excited bout ending sch tml!!! coz i'll rest myself tml i guess. or shld i start the hw for next wk coz i'll be busy this wkend??!! shrugs. still. i get to meet baby tml! woohoo!

jia you darlingsss!!!

nite nite!

2007-06-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

hellooooo peeps!!! it's been freaking long long loooong time since i've blogged. yes. i've been lost. time's passing fast. busy days.

these are grad pics. cheryl still havent send us......

nai and me. it was weird at all.

deb and me.

grad gowns on!

days have been spent as follows:

"Fantastic 4" --- show aint as 'wonderful' as baby and i expected. but he still tot silver-surfer was cool. haha.

hair dye for both of us.

ah ma's and daddy's bday kinda fall on the same day this yr! (u noe the chinese date and stuff..so of coz lots and lots of food hee) scrumptious dinner at ah ma's. and special bday dinner for daddy at Goodwood. plus mummy bought lots of half-price cakes. haha.

daddy's present.

smthing special planned for him. hee.

ah ma's prez. and she love it. she thank baby toooo! hee.

was so pissed with baby's gaming tat i met my bro to play. ok sounds dumb but i dunno why i juz got the urge. and i excelled alone. before being chased and shot up by 'hungry' hahahhaa.

michie's bday dinner with pal, teddy and baby. international buffet. it was gd. teddy was clearing their sashimi. baby was clearing their chin-chow and almond jelly. i love their prata. sardine and kosong. pal was all-over their choc fondue. haha. and mich juz ate was we had. she's the bday girl. of coz she gets the priviledge. den michie's "hey let's go play mj.." lightened baby up. haha. it was wat he was waiting for. went over to pal's place. girl, i'm sorry i dun haf any prezzie for u. din noe wat to get u coz u seem to haf everything. haha. juz the blessing. and wish u the best! hugs!

my cat's BACK!!! woohoo! la la la. hope to hang out with her on wed. my off day. hahhaa. so so looking forward to our hangout and stayover.

"Hot Fuzz" --- he tink it's ok onli. funnie. yes. but i slipped into my slp for bout 5-10mins. hahhaa. i dun tink it was worth it. haha. gor bought DF! and i got a box. hee. and of coz the onli heart inside was mine. BOOKED. hee.

food-hunting at vivo. prawning idea came into my mind. prawn-ed nearer to our place. baby, kambing, gor and i. and coz gor hmmmm. made some $$$ hahahaha. we were treated to prawning! and of coz kambing said it was the 1st time i used my brain and suggested such a gd idea to do. duh. 1st experience. it was lots of fun. and yes. 4 of us caught 11prawns. and i caught the majority. even they were amazed by the luck and 'skill' tat i had. weeee. la la la. hahaha.

today's a long. tiring day. becoz SCHOOOOLL's BACK!!!! ahhhh. hahaha. another level in my life. a degree. similiar course. same setting. different lecturers. hmm. it's new. adapting to it. but am kinda enjoying my 1st day in it. besides chop-chop immediate writing and readings due on thurs. assignment due next mon. i'm cool. hahahahhaa. super darn lazy to do them today.......drag...timetable's pack! 9-5 everyday except wed. but now we noe why we got wed free.......geez. work work work! haha.

life's pretty hectic. it's this and tat. fast. and slow. kinda problematic somehow. somethings tat dear did tat made mi upset. but i really do hope he understands how i feel. coz i'm really really trying to give in and understand him. but always after meeting each other. things get much betta. guess the physical presence of each other is very impt to us. he's going away for a whole wk soon. the wk i am onli fully available. and he's not gonna be here. juz coz i was alittle late. which i din noe. duh. he's gonna be there. while i'm here. tat's why i'm upset and frustrated. but wat can i do. juz give him my blessings. and hope he do well.

great wk ahead:

facial on wed. hope to meet cat too.
fri's with honey.
sat's free tix to parade with honey. zouk?
sun's mummy bday. and wedding dinner.

the girl was bestest fren with the guy. but they were nv in a relationship with each other. the guy now passed away. the day before he passed. she gave him a kiss. he was shocked. now tinking of it. she guessed it was like goodbye kiss.

a boy and girl went for a movie tog. the boy likes the girl and bought her a pair of earrings but dun wanna be too obvious so he kept it in his drawer first. but tragedy happened and both of them are dead. and their parents know their love for each other. so they are buried tog. side by side. with the earrings buried with the girl.

cherish those with u. around u.

hugs.

2007-06-14T15:32:00.000+08:00

tired. tired. tired.

met up with baby and goat on tues. chillin. haircut with baby. "Ocean's Thirteen". it was good but blurred. coz during '11' i slept. and i din watch '12'. hahaha. Gelare after. they went sch. i went to meet cheryl. although she told mi not to say this. but she was 'tipsy' at 730pm.....hahhaha. reunite with them after. a long frustrating way to get a cab. attended the funeral. lots of hilarious stuff with fifi-owner ard. betta not to talk. i'm juz glad i'm with baby. hugs.

GRADUATION's finally over!!! we've officially graduated. hahaha. yday was a wonderful day. rushed cab. ceremony was alright. we were so so proud of top-student. joy. she's so gd she won so many awards. hahaha. clap clap. lots of photo-taking. lunch plus dinner with girls. DTF. we had a 'long' of 10 each. hahahhaa. yumyum. stormed baby's shop to take a pic with him. dessert was mudpie and tiramisu. tidbits for baby. rush cab down to sch. for nite class. boo. hahaha. yday was a long long quick busy day. hahaha. the moment i lay down on bed at 12plus with the aircon on. i was GONE. hahaha.

pizzie will be put up lateeer.

mind ur own business.

hope u leave things alone.

2007-06-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

gosh..the days are really crazy. plus the weather. freaking humid. aircon's with mi. if not fan's gotta be till number.2 otherwise ju sitting ard i'll be sweating buckets. gd way to shed some weight though. coz i've been waaayy putting them on. haha.

this wk's been quite hectic. oh well gotta make full use of it till sch starts ya. so anyways. thurs was serene's bday. met some ppl tat i havent seen for quite some time. nice place to consider. beautiful delicious cake. caught up abit. and some stuff tat i din noe others knew about. the power of mouths and internet. way to go! hahaha.

cake full full of sweet strawberries. choc cake at the bottom was yummy!!!
and i noe where it's from!!

fri met my baby. "Black Snake Moan". a kinda weird yet interesting show. sexy. saucy. lots of screaming. *imagine* hahahaha. oh well. catch it and u'll noe. we tot justin.T acted not bad though. hee. a great opening to the show too. hahaha. walked quite alot. settled for dinner at the place we've always wanted to eat at. Hotpot. it's steamboat kinda thing. buffet. we sat and ate for a whole 2.5hrs. hahahhaa. we gluttons. oops. baby's the 1. haha he cleaned the side of his pot. *wink wink*

old sch ice. not bad though. yum.
but baby tinks the backgrd of this pic's much betta. *tat's his shirt though*
haha i bought tat shirt. bleah.

sat was teddy's bday! *happy birthday teddy!* and of coz our 13th. woke up early. made baby lunch box. well i'd say styrofoam box hahaha. coz mum say it's easier coz "eat and throw". so oh well. almost din catch him. coz wanted to gif him a surprise so din tell him earlier. and he almost got on the bus. rushed down. met nai at the bus-stop. she surprised mi so i gave her a big slap on her shoulder/arm. and it was real hard. haha. but coz i was sweating from the 'rush' i din really tot it was TAT hard. hee. la la la.

his 'styrofoam-lunch-box'. jap curry rice. with an egg. plus a spring roll.

sun smthing happened. no meeting. no mj. today's slacking. finish up my hw for wed. coz i'll be kinda busy for the next few days. *breathe*

days are passing like so so fast when i'm with him or doing things i like. but when i'm juz slacking at hm or doing hw and stuff. time passes darn sloooow. hahaha. tml's tuition. meeting baby for gelare. den some stuff to be done. wed's grad day. a day of happiness. yet a slight sadness adding to it. coz nobody's coming for mi. baby backed out last min. parents are busy with work. while the rest of my frens have almost all their family coming. happiness coz it marks the day i finally get my cert. the cert tat carried mi through my 4yrs in sch. although another 2 more yrs in tat familiar setting. but well. at least i'm 1 mark higher den i was. oh another sad thing. writing class's still on at nite. boo.
-------------------------------------------
sometimes things are unpredictable. but somethings are. and u juz gotta let go. it aint close to mi. when it's time, it's time. when i heard it. i cant help but start dropping those tear i had in my eye. although i'm not close to her. but juz tat i've met her a few times. and the kinda "yi han" or urmm regret tat i din meet her during CNY. coz nobody's got time. it kinda adds on to the sadness. i still remembered she likes 'ah-balling' and specific char kway teow. when mummy and daddy ask who it was. i couldnt say it but cry somehow. i'm glad they din push and ask more. "cherish who u have with you now.."
this scenario scares mi alot. coz i cant imagine and dun even wanna THINK ABOUT how it'll be when it happens on mi. i'll be so so disraught. and so so down. it'll sure be 1 of the chapter in my life which will be very hard to pass. CHERISH NOW.
i'm tat emotional. esp to this kinda things. family members.
-----------------------------------------
another sad thing was tat cuzz' off to Boston for 2months. left this mrning. but sure gotta be back for my 21st. well maybe 2mths seem fast. but i tink it aint gonna be easy for jia since she looks up to him. and to my ah ma. coz it's kinda the 1st time someone in the family has been so far for so long. i tink. and family gathering without him will be weird. oh well. look forward to his return.
tinking bout mine tooooo. *sad*
------------------------------------
sadness fills the air. but i'll surely be there for those who needs mi. baby. somethings juz kinda wakes mi up. and knock some sense into me.

believe in urself.

cuzz left.
cat's coming.
jo's staying.
mich's leaving.

that image so familiar. it disgust me.

ppl's telling mi to put up my bday list. haha. i will soon k.

needing a gd foot scrub and massage now. long time no do.

needing a gd head massage.

and definately and a gd gd hug from my sayang.......

2007-06-05T19:06:00.000+08:00

a girl's nitemare

stupid com. this was suppose to be tue's entry.

i'm getting headache from hours on staring on the lappie screen. damn. *blur-blur*

juz completed my stupid 'writing hw'. so difficult. so blur. duh. nv knew 10 sentences cld be such a hassle.

lazy baby finally got up yday and met mi get the new donuts near his place. "deh!" hahahhaa. well we still prefer d.f. till jo's gonna buy back kr.k from aust. hee. la la la la. managed to catch "Zodiac". after the FULL FULL FULL case on sat for almost every show. we aint interested in Shrek or Pirates. so settle for Zodiac coz i like the storyline. and without a doubt it was gd. gd show. great plot. based on true story makes mi more interesting coz along the show i was tinking how the ppl then really felt. but it was a 2.5hrs show. our butt hurts. hahaha. and it was really cold towards the end. but baby hugged mi thru although he was too but he claimed to be 'stong' hahaha. hee. la la la. *twist* pastamania dinner. and at a certain pt of time at the table. i saw baby in a way i nv seen him before. seriously. the way he did his face. the focus was on his nose and mouth. and i just for tat moment suddenly find him beautiful. den i juz stared at his eyes. enjoyed myself very much!

tips and tabs.

ready to go.

2more wks till sch starts.
17days till cat's back.

somebody's doing fine. get lost.

2007-06-03T14:29:00.000+08:00

the wk's pretty amazing. everyday scheduled with things to do. i kinda love the feeling. instead of staying at hm watching tv, lappie and slacking almost the whole day.

mon: brunch/occ
tues: tuition/brunch/occ
wed: nite class
thurs: temple/wedding dinner
fri: lunch/walk/occ
sat: brunch/walk/fun
sun: slack at hm

woohoo! love the plans. plus pt is tat i get to see him soooo much more this wk. instead of the once or twice a wk nowadays. boo. la la la la. plus i'm a happy girl coz of the little things he did. bought my fav chicken pie and strawberry tart for me! Sweets for my Sweet he said. haha.

walking ard quite alot lately. many things i wanna buy. tops. lingerie. hmmm. but where does the money source come from? mummy! hahaha. told her i wanted smthing. hmm den she say until like can consider. so well! hope i can 'claim' for it. hahaha.

masters on fri was super funnie. he had lots of his nonsense. well i had my share too. he was so so 'shen jing bing' haha. he said smthing bout somebody who's like a 'dick' while i exclaimed the particular somebody has a dicK???!!! hahahaha. ok shhh. and the sad thing is baby missed by 2pins to qualify top16. but well. he did win the team event gold. so well. tat's smthing to cheer for at least. and pal was also wasted la. he bowled well the 1st few days. but tumble the last.

had a super durian-y breakfast. all the durian crepe, puff, waffle was eaten this mrning. *burp* gosh. hahha. and baby said auntie likes it tat she finish a couple by last nite. haha. and there's a couple of dount-y stuff going on. crazy girl here might do dunkin' soon. miss the pocky-strawberry we had in KL. haha. miss nites there tinking bout it. and might do the new shop tat juz opened in the heartland. heard tat queue's long here too. but baby and i wun find it hard waking up to q ba. it's so near us. hahahha. tee and shorts and we're ready to go! hee.

1 of the thing tat's buzzing in my brain is tat i feel like going back to bowling again. really do. but hai. well i noe tat if i do start some things might arise. things tat haf calmed down so much. i dun wanna see it arise again. so well. i'm still considering. plus sch's starting. hmmm. i miss the old time. my balls are rotting. dun wanna put it to waste.

today's juz slacking. and maybe doing some eng work. which is so difficult. duh. while he had his usual sun. boo.

i wanna get away from town. from spore. need some time alone. alone with onli both of us. nobody in contact with. can i juz get a nite like tat?

the scenario so familiar.

(forgot wat we're talking)
me: no it's zero..ZERO..ji-lou(like in chinese slang)
baby: ji-lou..7th floor..
me: -_-...
and he say 10X10=1000 loudly. hahhaha how dumb!

next wk's gonna be back to normal. geez.

ta-da!

2007-05-30T14:52:00.000+08:00

last strawberry heart donut. hot milk tea.
only these comforted me this morning.

bad day to start with. bad way to end the day.

stuff going on in the top of my head. worrying this worrying tat. tinking if shld do this tinking if shld do tat. if things are done probs will come. if not done probs will come too. lost in my own mind. in myself. boo. super duper sian. mood lost.

mon:

super full jap lunch
headed to occ

tues:

nice and good dinner (jap/local)
headed to occ

tuition's killing mi. so many rubbish. wat to do? feeling tired. today's nite class. tml's wedding dinner. i'm glad somehow. gotta be away from rubbish.

terrible bad dreams. seems so so real. cried in sleep again. feel like many things undone. when can all these stop? i need to stop to stop feeling this way. to stop the misery.

super need to shop. but no money. super need to do full pedi with scrub and massage. but no money. super need a haircut or a gd hair wash. but no money. super need to indulge in good food. but no money. super need to run away and go for a holiday elsewhere. but no money.

i feel like bowling again.

missing present.

they come and go.

watched tv. they say "i love u" is smthing tat do not haf to say often. "love" is smthing u need to do to show. smth onli actions show. do u agree?

from sweet to being realistic.

boredom wkend.

2007-05-27T13:25:00.000+08:00

we sound super pathetic. coz we're always the ones waiting on. there's nth we can. we juz haf to accept the fact tat they are like tat. 'though we try our best to change them. but our effort seems to be minimal to them. one's about slping. the other's bout gaming. oh boy, we sound super pathetic tat we cant do anything. and it makes mi angry. they're so predictable.

wkend's super boring. tv. baking. lappie. accompanied me thru.

before/after.
failed puff on thurs. successful puff on sat.

mummy bought these mini-muffins which i tot was cute.
plain ones nicer.

duper sian and moody now.

fri's was kinda a shopping date. after occ. walked ard. ate lots on the day. chicken pie. ice-cream. beard papa. eclair. bbq chic rice. gosh. i'm putting on the weight i lost previously. duh. gobbling on chocs at hm too. the ones i bought for auntie. she finished it within the night somemore. haha fantastic. burp!

yummilicous bbq chic rice. this spells 4-5yrs ago. when i worked ard there.
flooded with curry. thick egg slice. smooth veg. well done chicken.

we made up words while we were bored. from car-plate alphabets.

me: wat's SGC, wat's EJ, wat's EK, wat's SGB........(still got many more)
dear: s'pore's greatest (beep), ejaculation, eeek!, s'pore greatest bowlers...(blah blah blah)

he made mi laugh out loud wit the EK-eek! he said smthing about me. but i cant remember wat it is. i tink is SGS. shrug.

a great change happened. from seeing everyday. to being rare. i cant take the way it is.

it's really a big difference.

next wk's a busy wk. i'm happy to say so. i prefer being occupied. age-grp. class. wedding dinner. i hate rotting at hm. somemore's like almost everyday. nobody to hang out. nobody's there. so pathetic.

dunno wat to put le. sian.

smths seemed so desperate.
***************************************************************************
11.30pm

back hm. collected the thing i bought for hons. found strawberry donuts from B.T. headed to k.s. the usual when with the boys. 'ya' dinner. yum. and now....the best best thing tat ever happened to me today..or well shld i say for the WEEK. since i've been rather moody getting all the rubbish. we joined the queue for the long-missed Dount Fac. and within 20mins or less. we got ours. and they onli left with STRAWBERRY HEARTSss!! our fav!! *gleem*

me: urmm can i haf 1 box of 12 and 2 boxes of 6...
girl: but we onli left with strawberry hearts..
me: yep it's ok..(tat's super wat i wan! hahaha)

i was jumping up and down after i got it man. baby witnessed tat moment. we totally cant believe it. and i was lost before ordering coz we were so unprepared. anyways. delivered 7 to my cuzzies. then delivered 4 to my ah ma. 7 left for myself. while baby got his box of 6. i'm so so happy. this made my day man. craving for it for ages. arggh. YES YES YES!!! breakfast for tml! woohoo!

this lady passed by the shop and she shouted: "this is crazy!!! it sux!!!" i dunno if anybody else heard it but i'm sure those infront did. well we did. and we're shock. but still we'll choose in indulge in these sweeties. slurp!

ta-da!

diaster. failure. useless.

2007-05-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

i've been rather moody lately. maybe it's almost time of the month. it's juz tat nth seems to go right for me.

wonder if kid noe wat i'm teaching. coz sometimes i dun get the respond i had before.
although i noe is a 'play' thing. but i turn things the hard way.
i anyhow think way too much.
bad bad dreams i get. (scary and horrible)
get hurt on the thumb juz by closing my window. -_-"
he makes use of his 'lost' time, while i'm all alone.
i wanna make use of my 'lost' time but i cant. coz it takes way too much time to make up for it. still need to measure. still need to beat it. all the steps. way too much time needed to re-do my FAILED cream-puff. i'm sorry u dun get to eat it. i did it before it was fine. but now. totally dun get any of it. pissed off. and i freaking burnt my finger.

i wonder wat else will come my way. how long will this go? it's juz the feeling i haf. kinda lonely in a sense. feeling like a failure and useless. and this saddens mi and pulls my mood down totally. i'm feeling worn out somehow.

i feel there's so much things i wanna say. or i've said. but i dunno if it makes sense or got thru.

alone. thinking. if it's right.

appreciating woman is not looking at her breast/body. it is listening wat she has to say.

today: dragged myself outta bed to meet pal. almost ps him. went down to see di bowl. will sure get suan-ed when i'm with them. used to it le. so many yrs le. down to my ah ma's place. lunch. shopped for books and ingredients. back home. clean hse. make puff. failed. sweat like hell. and still nth. gave up. da-baoed dinner. tv. now i'm here.

cat: cheer up k, it'll be fine tml
me: ok thanx
cat: i love u k =P
me: haha mi too
cat: muack
me: go slp ba..muack

i'm glad she's coming back soon.

i'm lost.

actions INDEED should speak louder den words.

come and go..

2007-05-21T16:44:00.000+08:00

on the 1st note..blogger's irritating..with mi taking the effort to upload my pizzies in last entry..i couldnt see most of them now..how dumb..gotta do it again..

speakin about come and go. well. ppl in my life are coming and leaving at about the same time. boohoo. i feel so happy when they're back. and feels darn sad when they leave. oh gosh.
first it was my bestest fren for 8yrs leaving for aust to study in feb. i cried hell lot at the airport. hahaha. she's suppose to be onli back end of this yr coz it's hols. but.....she juz told mi a gd news!!! she'll be back end of June!!! weeee!!! i'm so so glad! although it's juz a short month stay. but wat the hell! u're back! at least i miss u! not like that girl..who misses hm or s'pore instead of missing mi and our stayover. bleah.
next is knowing jo and mich going for study too. jo of coz flew away without telling coz she was very busy with stuff. and wondering if she'll be back in june or july like she said. so tat she can get mi Krispy Kreme's. hee. i hope she'll be back. and den mich's going off in jun/jul for study in aust too. gosh. they're all in aust but diff parts of it. hahaha. it's weird. i'm gonna 'lose' someone to tok to again. boohoo.
and lastly, my cuzzie's going away to Boston for study trip for 2months in june. ah ma and all are kinda worried for him. and all dun really wanna see him go. but he seems really excited. well tat's gd. but the pt is tat he'll be back for my bday in Aug. haha.
and i wonder if baby's going phil for a wk.........

hearing all these come and go stuff. esp to study. it juz kinda feel weird inside of mi. and it makes mi tink how things will be when i go to Boston....most prob end of next yr i guess. for my study trip too. hmmm. a month it'll be. home. baby. family. oh well. still kinda long to go. but. hmmm. time really flies when june comes to place. even now tat it's onli May..time seems kinda passes fast already. for me. beginning of the yr always seems slow.....den end of the yr juz rushes by. hmm. oh well. silly mi.
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after hearing wat a fren say. i've come to this.

guys, we girls do wan someone who can take initiative in doing things for us. not juz coz we said so and so it's done for the sake of us saying. we wan somebody who can surprise us and do things we did not expect. and of coz. we (well most of us) do wan a guy who can plan and pave tat step for us to move into the future tog. initiative's very impt. and of coz being sensitive. coz physical love or juz 'doing for the sake of doing' aint wat we wan. BIG CROSS! need someone who can tink into the future. not juz tink. but DOING it. step by step's very impt. leading is gd. not juz being where we are. it aint enuf. coz time flies. and nobody wanna be 'where we are'. we wanna move on. to a higher place. we all gotta grow. grow up.
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super dun feel like doing work. but haf to. wed's due. arghh.

matchy? me: tee-skirt-shoe
him: singlet-berms-slippers

i was "huh" when i saw him yday. tot we're going out. but i din noe he's 'out' was nearby. super in in-sync yday.

lunching/brunching
walking
movie: "Blades of Glory"
O.Julius hotdog and nachos

movie's hilarous. big cinema. great space. laugh our heads off. had a crazy, dumb goodbye.

1: .....the nite's dark for me....
2: oh come on..it's dark for everyone!
1: no..not if u have a night-vision on..
-_-" super funnie. and the stunts on ice. ultimate! hahaha.

and. baby's "to-bye bye". onli mi and him noe the joke. funnie. oh and he farted. hahahahhaa. he finally 'woke up' when we were at my lift. he became the crazy baby tat i noe.

can someone gif suggestions on how i shld celebrate my 21st? hee.

cheers to all!